good times

Well, I had a delicious New Year surprise today. Got my credit card bill in and lo and behold... about $2,000 worth of charges to my card in Madrid, Spain. Yeah, not only did someone defraud me through my Visa, but I got a good reminder I've never even been to Spain. Anyway, I had to call the Visa people, who were incredibly helpful and quick, and I won't have to pay for any of it, but SCREW YOU, SPANIARD! I hope your New Year sucks big time.

resolutions, from listoftheday

QOTD: New Year's Resolutions

It's almost time once again for the dreaded new year's resolutions.
Do you have any?
What are they?
Are they repeats from years prior?

Me, I gave up on resolutions long ago. Now I do new year's restitutions: I make a list of everyone who deserves a good beating, then I set forth to deliver those beatings in the new year. Of course, I'm at the top of the list, so I spend most of New Year's Day kicking myself in the ass, which sort of makes one go in a circle, so you could call that a new year's revolution as well.

Thanks, TotalBlammBlamm, for the idea.

from http://listoftheday.blogspot.com/2008/12/qotd-new-years-resolutions.html

holiday blog

Okay, I've just nearly given myself a heart attack twice by mistaking a Curious George doll for Liam's motionless face by the TV... even though I know logically Liam is sleeping. Deep breaths... deep breaths...

So here's my holidays in a nutshell (help! I can't get out of this nutshell!).

Like last year, we decided Santa was visiting our house on the night of December 23rd to facilitate our travels to Tony's parents in New Mexico. We put the kids to bed and set up all the stuff... we got them a little pup tent and some small things, like books and stuff. Their big gifts were a play tool set for Aidan and this activity cube thing for Liam. On Christmas morning, we opened our gifts... I'd gotten Tony two t-shirts ("Meat is murder. Tasty tasty murder." and "Damn it feels good to be a gangsta"), a bunch of books, and some accoutrements for his MP3 player. He got me this here laptop I'm typing on. How do I know that my laptop, despite its age and somewhat heavy weight, is cooler than yours? Because this particular laptop was confiscated by the FBI from an unnamed criminal and donated to the school system, where Tony was able to get it. Groovy. Who knows what nameless deeds have been planned using these very same keys... and if said criminal can type as fast as me (about 108 wpm, thank you very much).

We headed to NM after Santa time and hung out there for a few days. We opened gifts there on Christmas morning: our major ones were two cool lamps for our living room and a giant clock as big as Liam for the living room wall. The boys got way too much as usual, the coolest thing being a giant triceratops... and I mean three feet tall, maybe five feet long or more, plush but animatronic... it chuckles and growls and chews and sleeps. Good old Auntie Annie... the boys will be the most popular kids on the block if she keeps going like that.

We got home on Sunday. I went yesterday with Liam and Carol shopping to hit up a few sales. What do I love about shopping? When I go somewhere specifically to spend an effing gift certificate and get all the way into the final stages of checking out and realize I forgot the effing gift certificate at home. Almost as good as remembering I had the gift certificate AFTER I check out... Candace benefited from that one at Thanksgiving.

Oh, and a last highlight before I close this one out:
Earlier, I was messing around with my computer while Liam played with toys a few feet away. He comes up to me with a grunt and his hand in a fist position, which means, "Here. Take this item I just found on the ground." I hold my hand out, and he slimes something wet onto my hand, then says "Thanks" in his baby way and takes off back toward where was to get "more." I investigate, and yes, he's puked a little on the floor, and is bringing it to me handful by handful.

Thanks, little chugs. The gift that keeps on giving.

why i want a wife

by Judy Syfers, 1971

I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife.

And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother. Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?

I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife a wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturing attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.

I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals,serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue care for me and my when I need a rest and change of scene. I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife's duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.

I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who take care of the baby-sitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my quests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d'oeuvres, that they are offered a second helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself.

I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.

If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.
When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife's duties.

My God, who wouldn't want a wife?

more proof that i'm insane with order and symmetry

Okay, so I bought this wrapping paper for all of my gifts that were going to go under the tree. I had used up the first roll with gifts being shipped out to other places. The new paper was dark blue with Santa faces all over it, and I lurved it.

I wrapped every gift I had except for TWO and ran out of paper. And I'm talking many gifts. Not just like ten. So I had to go out and buy another roll of paper, and of course I couldn't find the same kind, so I got a blue-themed one (one I'd never buy because it had these old person angels all over it) so at least the color scheme would match.

I just wrapped the last two gifts in the angel paper, and it just looks pathetic. I am having to FORCE myself not to unwrap some of my Santa paper gifts and rewrap them with angel paper just to make it more even. Ugh.

Okay, that's it. I am going to go and hide the angel paper gifts in the back of the tree.

Movie quotes, from Sherri

Ze Rules!
1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.

I don't know if I even have 15 favorite movies, but I chose movies that I like a lot for the most part...


1) The crickets and the rust-beetles scuttled among the nettles of the sage thicket. "Vámonos, amigos," he whispered, and threw the busted leather flintcraw over the loose weave of the saddlecock. And they rode on in the friscalating dusklight.

2) I believe in death, destruction, chaos, filth, and greed!

3) Buck up little camper, we'll beat that slope together.

4) It's just like Santa's workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms... and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me...

5) You sound like a big ol' bahr.

6) Great, now say that everyday you had an apple. An apple, an apple and more apples. You probably thought that apples were pretty good, even if you got a rotten one every once in awhile. Then one day there was an orange. Now you can choose, do you want an apple or do you want an orange? That's democracy.

7) What Jefferson was saying was, Hey! You know, we left this England place 'cause it was bogus; so if we don't get some cool rules ourselves - pronto - we'll just be bogus too! Get it?

8) Love, desire, ambition, faith - without them, life's so simple, believe me.

9) The day they cut the football budget in this state, that will be the end of Western Civilization as we know it!

10) Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

11) It's all just a... a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes.

12) [while throwing a Bible at co-star] I am FILLED with Christ's love! You are just jealous of my success in the Lord.

13) So be wary of very hairy scary Larry. (okay, that one wasn't in IMDB, but it's the quote I wanted.)

14) You know Mrs. Torrance, you got to keep regular, if you want to be happy!

15) This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished.

more reason to hate people

So let me just tell you something to make you lose your faith in the legal system when it comes to dealing with family/divorce/custody situations.

My sister has been going through a custody battle with her ex-husband. They have had multiple custody changes over the several years they've been divorced, but they were fine with sharing custody until about a year ago. What happened a year ago? Her xhub got remarried to this psychotic infant who wants to pretend as though the boys are her boys rather than his with Candace. Sorry, girl who is my age but acts like a 19-year-old... PERHAPS you should have thought of all that before you got married. It's not like the boys randomly appeared once the rings were on.

Anyway, my sister had temporarily moved in with my parents when she got laid off and had planned to move out this summer after getting settled into her new job and getting some money saved up. Unfortunately, once xhub started all this BS, she ended up stuck living with my parents longer because all her money was going toward legal fees.

There's been much drama associated with this entire fiasco. The drama includes some meanness from the psychotic infant aimed toward at least one of my nephews at various points. Recording of phone conversations between my sister and at least one of her sons. And a HARD EVIDENCE video of the xhub and the psychotic infant screaming and cursing at my nephews (who are 18, 15, and 13)... including their own father calling them chicken s**ts and essentially saying that their mother is not as good of a mother as their new stepmom. Hold on a second while I throw up in my mouth a little bit on that one. I try to stay neutral and give both sides the benefit of the doubt, but while I watched that video, I literally thought, if those were my kids, I'd get arrested for custodial interference, because I'd go pick them up and haul them out of the country to get them out of that crap. Also included in the decision-making process - lots of sessions with this "therapist" who is allegedly qualified to make recommendations on where the boys live.

So the report came out yesterday. That giant pile of shite therapist recommended that xhub get the kids for the entire school year, only excepting three weekends a month and negotiated holidays. The ONLY reason? Because he's had his job for longer and has been living in his house longer. Because God knows, a continuous living time in a home makes for a loving family. Guess if they were manufacturing meth for 15 years in the home, it'd still be a good family atmosphere.

Never mind that the reason that my sister is still living with my parents is because of his custody contesting. Never mind that a major reason she hasn't had a long term career is because she was the primary caretaker of their kids for their entire marriage. That he didn't even care about spending major holidays, like Christmas, with his kids because he was at work. That he dropped his kids off just before Christmas a few years ago and refused to allow them back, causing my youngest nephew to literally cry at our family gathering because he wanted to see his dad and the dad wouldn't allow them back home. That he hauled my oldest nephew out of the house in the freezing cold and hosed him down with the water hose in the backyard because he had a bathroom accident as a child. That he shoved my sister so hard that I had to bring her to the ER when they were married, and medical records prove it.

Apparently, none of that matters. I'm not saying my sister is perfect; who is? I can tell you right now that some things I have done as a parent are probably easily questionable. And I know that sometimes I just have to walk out rather than do something bad with my temper. HOWEVER, why totally side with one position when so much evidence is presented to show why they shouldn't be chosen?

If this has taught anyone any lessons, it's that if your marriage is on the rocks, you better stick it out until the kids are older no matter what. I think if I had to deal with this, I'd be in prison now for multiple reasons.

website for my brunch group

The girl who started the group has friends starting similar ones around the country. If you live in any of the areas, or you wanted to start your own, here's the cool website. Email me if you have any preguntas.

http://www.making-friendships.com

a little "know my songs, know me"

Okay, first, apparently my MP3 player doesn't shuffle very thoroughly. Second, how hilariously accurate or weird are some of these answers? Third, I probably should branch out to more male singer bands, eh?

Rules:
1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY? Crash by The Dave Matthews Band

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Chasing Pavements by Adele (really?)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? If You Want Me To by Ginny Owens

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Drowning by Missy Higgins

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? Under the Bridge by the Chili Peppers (hehehe)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Dust in the Wind by Kansas (how accurate is this)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Holding Out for a Hero by Frou Frou

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Shadows of the Night by Pat Benatar

WHAT IS 2+2? Summertime by The Sundays

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Clint Eastwood by the Gorillaz

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Eternal Flame by The Bangles

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Sleep to Dream by Fiona Apple (another one I like)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Don't Think of Me by Dido

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Back to You by John Mayer

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Dreamin' 'Bout the Day by Joan Osborne

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Leather by Tori Amos (hehehe)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Polite Dance Song by The Bird and the Bee {one can only hope :)}

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? All The Things She Said by TATU (hmmm... that's an odd one that makes you question...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Navy Bean by Tracy Bonham

WHATS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? Everything by Michael Bublé

HOW WILL YOU DIE? Choking the Cherry by Poe (hehehehe)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET? Silent All These Years by Tori Amos (how appropriate is this one)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? My Fair Lady by The Bird and the Bee

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? Sober by Kelly Clarkson (hehehe)

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? Beyond by Balligomingo

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? Love Song for No One by John Mayer

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? Lovefool by The Cardigans

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? When I Grow Up by Garbage

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? Sweet Allure by Balligomingo

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? Last Exit to Eden by Amanda Marshall

this morning's email from my sister

Proving hilarity runs in the family...

This is my new workout routine and why I will be sliding down the banister to get out of the office today since I barely made it up the stairs. I'm on day 4. All I can say is that in 90 days, if I don't have a rock hard body, I will personally hunt this guy down and punch him in the face...among other things.

http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/p90x.do?code=GOOGLE_SEM_P90X&gclid=CM6_-c3cqZcCFRyenAod1BdKjg

idiots

Note to college girls I don't know:

If you choose to wander down the snow-covered embankment to the parking garage rather than taking thirty more seconds to take the more traction-friendly sidewalk and stairs, then you are not allowed to squeal and scream like jackasses and get on my nerves.

idiots

Note to lady who can't regulate her speed on the interstate, necessitating me to continuously cancel my cruise control:

I hate you.

idiots

Note to infrequent flyer at Amarillo airport:

It is not necessary to call each and every person you know to let them know that you are at the airport. I don't know if it's the cell phone that's new or the first time you're taking an airplane somewhere, but I'm fairly certain others have flown before.

house, continued

I have my Thx trips to blog about, but I am going to wait till I have more time. I am in the process of grading like a maniac since I just realized that I have less than two weeks till classes are over and I have backed myself up in grading for the rest of my life.

So here's the news... A lady came to look at our house today. I don't know what the family is like, if she even has one, but apparently this is her second trip here. Tony talked to the realtor after the showing was over, and he said she was going back to her "finalist" houses to check out the yards. Which means our house is a "finalist."

Anyway, house buying is a weird thing. Like, she's come to our house twice and spent at most maybe, like, half an hour each time? Doesn't it seem like if you're going to spend this much money on one purchase you should be able to spend a weekend to see if you like it? It's weird to fork over a hundred thousand dollars, two hundred thousand dollars, more, for a place that you haven't spent any significant amount of time in.

idiots

I've decided that as soon as we get our house crap together and I make sure all of the Christmas stuff is paid for, I'm going to start working on getting my realtor's license. Maybe even if our house doesn't sell under this particular contract with this realtor, I'll just go ahead and do it.
I have known a few realtors in real life, ones I never had the opportunity to use myself when buying or selling, and they were nice intelligent people. However, the realtors that I've worked with here are idiots. I've met others who aren't idiots, but somehow, we end up with idiots. Idiots that drive up to my house in gleaming BMWs.

The first realtor we had to deal with when we were buying our house was so idiotic that Tony practically had to duct tape my mouth shut from telling the woman off at closing. He said when she walked in, my hatred of her was palpable in the air. I hoped so, since that's the feeling I was trying to put off. She was an idiot, a jerk, and almost made us lose our contract on the house with her stupidity and lollygagging. The second realtor we had the house listed with wasn't an idiot per se, but I wouldn't call him a genius. At least he was friendly. There wasn't a lot of selling going on, though.

This one we have... my main problem is that I have a serious issue with someone not being detail oriented when details are incredibly important to the job. And I have a problem with someone being too absent-minded to do his job. I mean, I know I forget things at work, but when I forget something, it just means that a grade doesn't get posted quite as quickly as they'd like, or I hand out papers tomorrow rather than yesterday. This dude is dealing with hundreds of thousands of dollars. Like, we have pointed out to him NUMEROUS times that there were mistakes on our listing and on the flyers out in front of the house, which people are constantly driving by to take. We were almost out of them, so I decided to make some for myself, and in retyping, I see the same mistakes STILL THERE (like it says "partially finished basement" instead of fully finished -- a somewhat important detail). However, I ALSO see that it still says "evaporative window cooler". In other words: swamp cooler, no central air! Hello, jackass! That is a major selling or not selling point! I know I am not even looking at houses without AC, and I'm guessing that's the case for others too. So I corrected all the idiotic mistakes on the flyer, made one that isn't so tacky, and replaced the tacky flyers with mine.

Anyway, I looked into it, and it only costs like a thousand bucks or something like that to get your beginner realtor license. I'd have to get myself associated with an office around here, but if I could do that part time, if I sold or bought ONE house for us under my license, I'd more than make the money back obviously. Like, say I get my 3% for our house at the listing price... that's almost $5,000. In one sale. And I can guarantee you I can keep my crap together better than these idiots. Not to mention that as much as I hate to deal with the general public, I've had enough practice in my jobs that I can fake being super friendly if it means cash. And lots of it. The housing market will turn around eventually.

good old jack handey

So as many of you already know, I am an avid fan of Jack Handey, particularly the Deep Thoughts he comes up with. For my birthday, Tony got me the book What I'd Say to the Martians, and other Veiled Threats. This book is so weird; it just proves that you put Jack Handey's name on ANYTHING, and people will buy it. Here are my two favorite quotes so far:

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not against having fun. But it has to be a controlled kind of fun, where those who are having too much fun are asked to leave, and those not having enough fun are beaten."
That quote is something that should be the motto for all the classes I've ever taught.

"I had never eaten a dog before, and I didn't intend to start now. 'Just give me some more of the copilot,' I said, extending my plate."
Okay, how awesome is that, all in two sentences. That is a perfect way to teach concise writing AND inferences all in two lines of text.

blahg

I am so ready for the holiday break. I am ready for Thanksgiving break, but I am also really ready for Christmas break. I know we're in the home stretch semester-wise, but this is the worst time for me to have to grade a zillion papers. Oh well. C'est la vie. I want to decorate my house for Christmas right now. It's everything I have not to give Tony the Christmas gifts I've already bought for him. I'm having to make myself wait to put out all the Christmas stuff just in case (by some weird freak occurence) the house sells. I figure if I wait until Thanksgiving, that we wouldn't be closing that fast anyway if it sells after that.

Some people came by to see the house today. The realtor's office called and said that they'd be here between 9 and 11. I left right around 9 to run some errands. I finished by 10:45 or so, so I just parked a little down the road and waited till 11. No one came, so I figured they'd already come. I pulled into the driveway and went inside. AS SOON as I put my purse and stuff on the table, they drive up. It was the realtor with several people -- there were four cars total. I thought we were ridiculous having my parents and grandma come looking with us, but that was only one car plus the realtor, not three cars! Anyway, I just left and rode around the block. They didn't stay very long, so I'm assuming they didn't like it much, unless they are really just doing quick walkthroughs. We did notice, though, that all the flyers were gone from our for sale sign slot this morning. Hopefully that means people are looking and not one person is a jackass who grabbed all of them. I refilled it.

Last topic: I haven't been sleeping so good the last few nights. Lots of restless leg crap, mostly. I feel dumb calling it that, but that's what it is. I've had it my entire life, but I just never knew what it was until those commercials came out. I never talked to a doctor or anything, because I just figured either everyone had that happen or maybe it was all in my mind, but I could literally break my own legs off sometimes with it, right at bedtime. Anyway, so last night I finally got to sleep, and I was so exhausted after numerous nights of wakefulness that I was sleeping HARD and dreaming in full force. In my dream, I was fighting with someone, not physically, but fighting. Anyway, in the dream, I kicked a table, and I woke up because I had actually kicked Tony in the bed. I mean, I kicked him hard, and I am pretty sure I said "stupid" in real life too. He said I kicked him twice, and the first time I jumped. Hilarious.

mon anniversaire

Not too exciting, but here's my birthday weekend report.

Saturday we had the Remax open house day, so we had to be out of our house from 11-2. I had a session booked at JCPenney for the boys to take pictures for Christmas and Liam's first birthday, so we hit the mall at around 10:45. They did so good... The pictures turned out pretty good, despite Liam's cracked out looking eyes. He took a massive nap that morning, but I guess he was still tired. We didn't do the whole fam pic this year, since I had to get Liam's one year pics and the two of them together. I didn't want to add whole fam pics too. I am thinking of attempting some PhotoShopping to make a funny Christmas card with our faces on it.

After that we hit McD's for lunch. Liam ate a massive happy meal. That kid is a pig. Hilarious. Then we went to the children's museum, but just briefly. Now that they have the new set up, it wasn't as fun for Aidan. Then we hit a playground for just a little while and came home. As far as we can tell, not one person showed to see our house. Oh well. That's the good thing about not HAVING to sell. We don't have to stress. The house will sell eventually I'm sure, and knowing that I won't live here forever makes me appreciate the things I normally neglect.

Yesterday was a regular morning. I had taken some medicine the night before (sinus crap) and was still tired, so when Liam napped, I napped too. Then at around 10:45, Tony dressed the kids and said he was going somewhere and that he'd stop by the store for me. He came by a while later with no kids. He had arranged for Carol to watch the boys for a few hours so we could go to lunch and relax. We went to Jorge's and then I came home and took a second, longer nap. Yeehaw. I went and got them at around five and learned that one of my radio stations has already switched to all holiday music, and the first song that was on was "Baby, It's Cold Outside." My favorite. And both boys went to bed fairly simply.

So I ended up getting a few cool gifts. Tony got me the book What I'd Say to the Aliens, and Other Veiled Threats by Jack Handey. I got some Freudian slippers from Kari and a cool outdoor gnome statue from Jenny. And I know I have at least a card coming that I haven't gotten yet.

And congrats to Kari and Michael for getting engaged!!!!

i am eating a GIANT toffee chocolate biscotti

Just a few random comments:

So our house is officially open for viewings. The good thing about that is our HAVING to keep it clean all the time. We're having a sort of open house this weekend and then another one right after Thanksgiving, and once a month. I am still keeping my eyeball on the house market in P.West. The two houses we enjoyed earlier are sort of off the list. Our favorite, the house we loved, is off the market. It didn't get sold, but according to the realtor, the builder/owner decided to rent it, and they just signed a year lease with someone. The other favorite, I decided I didn't care for the layout of the house as much as I want to. So we're back to looking cold. There are so many houses, though, that it's basically wide open. There are also a few we already saw that I'd want to see again to decide if they're scratched or still on the possible list.

YAY Analeigh and Sam on ANTM!

Oh, and check this out... I have a bison roast in the slow cooker for dinner tonight... We'll see how it turns out.

Top ten childhood/early teen crushes

Gacked from Sherri, who gacked it from Leigh...

In no particular order:
1. Davey from the Monkees – especially when he was on Brady Bunch
2. Alex P. Keaton
3. Jack from Y&R (Peter Bergman)
4. Bo from Days of Our Lives (Peter Reckell)
5. Billie Jean (Helen Slater)
6. Joey McIntyre… Yes, the New Kid
7. Mike Seaver
8. Nicholas from Eight is Enough (Adam Rich – the one that became a crackhead)
9. Ralph Macchio (had a picture of him in my locker in the fifth grade)
10. Bo Duke, of Hazzard (Jon Schneider was the first movie star’s real name I remember knowing)

like movies?

If you're looking for movies that aren't the typical blockbuster, check out this website: www.filmmovement.com. I'm not a member or anything, but every movie i've found interesting on there has been available on netflix. They have indie films, international films, etc. I just watched one from them yesterday, and it was definitely not your typical American theater fare, but interesting... I just added a zillion of them to my netflix list. I'm sure Tony will be thrilled.

the race issue

Okay, I am just wondering about something that I hope I can discuss without offending anyone.
One of the things that has really been irritating me about the last few years, brought back to the surface by the Obama campaign/win, is the issue of race.

Facts (?):
1) Vanessa Williams was the first African-American Miss America.
2) Halle Berry wast he first African-American to win the Best Actress Oscar.
3) Obama is the first African-American president.

So that's what you see on their bios, or will see, once the bios are completed.

But then here's my point.
More facts:
1) Vanessa Williams's parents (both of them) were half-white, half-black. (I couldn't find a picture, only text sources to confirm.)
2) Halle Berry's mother is as white as can be. (http://www.hallewood.com/ROBINNEWSIMAGES/wingovmom2.jpg)
3) Obama's mom is white. (http://www.barack-hussein-obama.info/obama-parents.php)

So I am just wondering two things: First, what happened to the movement to stop identifying people by one race when they are really two? Are we reverting back to the ancient Civil War days' one-drop rule. If my sister (who is white, obviously) and her husband (who is black, in case you didn't know) have a child, why can't s/he be considered of BOTH of our races. The kid would have both of our families in its veins. I mean, I know that in reality we're all mixed up mutts one way or another, so obviously I'm talking in generalities.

The second thing I'm wondering is, if you are not of obvious mixed race, if you clearly identify yourself as African-American and can trace that back at least a few generations and don't claim other ancestry, isn't it a little disheartening to hear them constantly saying things about "the first black" whatever when in reality, those people are of mixed race?

I hope I'm not being offensive. I just think that I would be ticked if, for example, someone said, "Jane Doe is the first teacher to win the presidency!" if Jane Doe got her teaching license but really only worked in politics. Or "Jane Doe is the first South Louisianian to win the Nobel Prize" when really she may have been born there but moved immediately to Maine and lived there her entire life.

Can't we just be who we are without all this crap?!?!

happenings of late

My my my... it's been a while, and tons of stuff going on but none of it super interesting for anyone but me. Here's why I've been MIA in cyberspace...

My parents and my grandma rode into town last Tuesday while I was at work. On Wednesday, we cleaned half the house and then Tony came home early and we hit the roads with the realtor to check out a bunch of houses we had seen online. We definitely have our two faves for the moment, but it's all very preliminary.

Thursday morning, we finished cleaning the house, and I went to work Thursday evening. Friday I picked up my sista Candace at the airport for the weekend. My in-laws also rode into town that weekend. Candace and I picked the boys up and brought them home, got them dressed up in their costumes (pics to come), and then I quietly, or not so quietly, went insane as we waited for time to trick or treat.

Trick or treat ended up actually being fun. We went to maybe ten or fifteen houses before Aidan was ready to go home. We picked up Quizno's and went to bed early. Saturday morning we straightened the house and Tony and the dads went nuts making small repairs to the house since it's officially now listed on the market.

Liam's birthday party was Saturday afternoon, and it was pretty good. Liam devoured so much icing I'm pretty sure his stomach was destroyed the rest of the day. And for an added bonus, we were simply sitting on the ground letting him "open" his presents when I leaned forward to grab a lightweight present and pulled something apparently important in my back. I've been walking like the Hunchback of Notre Dame since then... I'm going to a chiropractor today to check it out. I want to be able to keep wearing my heely boots! Candace and I attempted to have cocktails with Tony's brother and sister and her friend but my back was seriously throwing a wrench into my fun.

Sunday morning my parents packed up and headed out for their 18-hour drive. Candace and Tony and I spent the morning hanging out. Annie and her friend came over and they plus Tony and the two boys went to a Filpi family function while Candace and I stayed home and got caught up on Celebrity Rehab and drank a few bloody marys.

So this morning we're back to normal. Candace left from COS around noon. I am heading to the doctor. We have to start doing our organizing so some pics can be added to our house listing and because viewings can start in like a week.

Oh, and one last thing: I just found out via online searches that I own a book that is a rare first edition Elizabeth Barrett Browning. I saw it listed from 750 to 1750 dollars. Yeehaw. I'll be selling that thing if I can find a buyer.

little known facts about me

1) I say that I am an open book all the time if people ask me if I keep a lot of secrets. And even though I think that’s mostly true, except in cases where it’s a matter of self-preservation, there is one thing I do not discuss. With anyone. Bodily functions. I even get a little embarrassed talking to my doctors. Like, I think I would pose for Playboy (assuming they’d want me to do so). Like seriously, the thing that would keep me from being a stripper if I had no other way to earn a living isn’t the nudity but my discomfort dancing in public, but I don’t want to discuss any bathroom activities with anyone.

2) Often, when I’m in a group of people hanging out, I get on my own nerves. It’s like I am sitting outside of myself in the group, seeing myself annoy others, but I can't stop it. This has become especially pronounced now, since I’m more self-conscious here with people I really don't know well. I am super-conscious of all my little annoying habits, like repeating myself or saying things that are taken the wrong way, things that my people back home would dismiss.
3) I could watch the same shows on TV a thousand times. Like, I will forego watching a new DVD from Netflix because there’s an SVU marathon on TV.

4) I have a weird intolerance for rudeness. Like, when I taught high school, I couldn't care less if the kids came in with purple hair and a two inch spike through the nose -- but it really chapped my hide when they bump into me in the hallway and don't say excuse me. I get internally FURIOUS if I can't get through a grocery store aisle because some discourteous person is leisurely taking up the aisle.

5) While one of the major reasons I wanted to move out of LA was the heat, and I certainly appreciate the temperatures here, I miss the humidity like you wouldn’t believe. Everyone says, “I bet you’re glad it’s not so humid,” and sometimes if I’m especially homesick I could punch them in the face, the same way I feel sometimes when a Puebloan says the word “soda” with that Pueblo accent. When it’s humid, I feel like I can BREATHE.

6) I love watching beauty pageants. Mostly Miss America. The Trump pageants suck, but the Miss America series rocks. Judge me all you want.

7) I am pretty sure I have a mild case of OCD. Not joking, for real. I literally cannot go to sleep unless I have done the following: taken a bath that must include at least a few minutes of laying in the tub and reading, shaved my underarms and legs from hip to ankle, lotioned every part of my body that I can reach, and flossed and brushed my teeth. I also occasionally get into the routine of including eating ice cream or drinking something specific before I go to bed and then I can't go to sleep without doing that. For example, I had trouble going to sleep when I switched from chewable vitamin C to swallowable vitamin C. I also have to keep myself even. For example, if I start going up steps with my left foot, and there are an odd number of steps, and my right foot doesn't get an equal number, my left foot feels heavy for a long time. If I step on a line in the tile or sidewalk with one foot and am paying attention, I have to do it with the other foot, or again the heaviness will show up.

8) I literally HATE reading for deep meaning. I don't know if it's my age or personality or the years I spent in school, but I just want to read for fun and maybe look at cultural or social significance. Rarely am I interested in symbolism, etc. Which is pretty stupid, for an English teacher.

9) When I first started college, I wanted to be a journalist. Why did I not pursue that goal? Because the only intro to journalism class was offered on Tuesday and Thursday, and I wanted to go to school on Monday/Wednesday/Friday. For two or three semesters, I refused to change my schedule to T/Th, so I ended up having to switch out of journalism.

10) I’d never consider myself to have an eating disorder, because when it comes down to it, I will eat all your chips and salsa and potato salad, if my mom made it… but I literally could never eat if I didn’t have to. If they invented some sort of pill that would replace the nutrients and the feeling of eating, I would do that 9 times out of 10. Unless there is a social reason to eat, I hate having to do it to stay alive. Hardly anything I eat regularly is that satisfying. Plus, say what you will, if I had my way I’d weigh 95 pounds. I just want to have one of those skinny skinny skinny bodies I had when I was younger. I am still small, but I’m talking like Dr. Rey’s wife on Dr. 90210. As sick as she looks sometimes. I would love to be that skinny.

lookalikes

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Genalogy - Family pictures

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Family pics - Vintage photos

project runway

My comments:

Korto should have won based on that finale. That green final dress could appear on any starlet at the Oscars and it'd get good reviews. If I were more than four feet tall, I'd wear almost any of her clothes from that collection.

I like some of Leanne's work, but it's all the same. I particularly liked this one of Leanne's here: http://www.seenon.com/project-runway/season-5/photo/project-runway-5-episode-514-leanneand039s-final-collection/leannes-final-collection-look-5/

So two questions:

1) I wonder who picks their music for the runway show. Kenley's music effing sucked. I remember thinking that with Jeffrey Sebalia's music -- like maybe he'd recorded it himself, and while it fit his personality, I wouldn't have wanted to walk to it if I were a model. The other two last night were good, but Kenley's sucked.

2) What is up with Kenley's constant complaints about how much she's had to "fight"? I was under the impression that she had no family support, had clawed her way out of homelessness and abuse and had made it all on her own. Then there are her cute little parents in the audience last night, supportive and clapping. She bitched the entire season about how hard she's had to fight to get where she is... how is her "fight" different from the others'? I really liked her at the beginning, but good lawd, no one is going to want to work with her.

of course

Well, the house selling/moving thing doesn't appear as thought it's going to work out. I don't feel like going into it. I'll write more later. When will I learn.

the little munch

So perhaps Aidan's knowledge base is expanding at a more rapid rate than we know...

The other day, we were playing with his Leap book. He was touching the little pen to different parts and it was making the noises. There was this Saturn-looking thing but with rainbow colors, and I was wondering what kind of sound it would make.

I said, "Touch that rainbowy circle." He looked at me and said, "That's a planet." The "dumbass" was added silently, in his head.

looking, looking

I have been doing a lot of thinking about the current living situation. Tony is applying to grad school in P-town, to get his MA in English. He claims he's going to get it done in two years, but I'm thinking it'll be more like three. And I've been thinking about my job, how much better it is than many jobs I've had. I'm not sure how much job security an instructor in my position has, particularly if they start hiring more PhDs for the program, but I think I'm okay for a while.

We've never ruled out another move somewhere, but nothing now... The boys are so good at Carol's, and unless things get way worse, I don't think I could do better than my job if we were to move; and at least if I ended up having to get another job here, I'm pretty sure I could get another teaching job.

But Tony and I have decided something. I talked to Tony about it last week. I think we are going to see if it would be possible to sell our house and buy another one in P-town West. PW is the newer, nicer area around us. It's within like a half hour drive from anywhere in P-town proper, but it's like a different city. It's in the rural school district. And you know how when you go to a nice area, the regular chain stores are fancier than the ones in the crappier areas? That's how P. West is -- all nice. There is more land because it's less city. They still have places to eat and an up and coming big library and parks and doctor's offices and stuff, so it would be essentially comparable convenience-wise. And the houses are much newer.

I just mentioned it to Tony to see if he thought it was ridiculous, and he was like, Let's do it. So I left a message for a realtor today. I know the market is allegedly weird, although I am incredibly distrusting of anything the media says about it. I just told him, if we know for a fact we're not leaving till you finish your degree, why not spend those years in a newer, nicer house in a new area, one that may make us want to stay longer? New area, new people, new air, possibly new start for the move. We don't need a house as big as the one we've got now -- I only bought one this big because I was operating under the assumption that we'd have frequent overnight guests, which does not happen. So five bedrooms and two living rooms is not necessary.

Anyway, perhaps I am insane. I guess we'll see. I just think maybe a new place would breathe some life into me. It seems like we do all this stuff to our house and it's still no better looking really or more comfortable. We've sunk thousands of dollars into it and I still walk around thinking, I hate this. I wish I could change that.

beware of bad luck, little right-wingers

So after some research and watching the debates so far, Tony and I have decided that we're pretty sure we're going to vote for McCain. Really, for me, it's like the lesser of two evils. I don't care for either candidate. I like McCain better than Obama and Biden better than Palin, as far as who I think is the most capable.

I have a few "pet" issues. One is of course same-sex marriage, as I am sure most of you know. Neither of them is for legalizing it, so that doesn't differentiate the candidates. The other is education, and frankly, nothing either one of them can do is going to make things worse.

When it comes down to it, I guess I'm liberal when it comes to social issues and conservative when it comes to the more logistical things, like spending and government involvement. I think that the social rights things are inevitable; they can only hold it off for so long, just like they could only hold off interracial marriage for so long. Since those, I think, will happen anyway, I am voting for the person who's talking cutting spending and who seems a little more realistic militarily. I think it's total BS that we got into the Iraq situation, but I think it's ridiculous to think you can easily just say, "We're out" without major consequences.

I told Candace, I have these two images of the two candidates in my head. Like two cartoons of them. Obama I see as sitting at a table not unlike the final scene in Spies Like Us, playing Risk, drinking a milkshake, and looking to Biden for constant clues. McCain I see in a helicopter with the door open, laughing maniacally and throwing hand grenades on the homes of mean world leaders. Neither one of these appeals to me, but I guess the hand grenades keep me and my boys safer than the milkshake.

Of course, NOT ONE president has ever been elected that I've ever voted for. And only one governor (ours, here) has ever been elected that I voted for. Which means, sad little Republicans, that I totally don't think McCain will win. I guess we'll see. Maybe you'll get good luck and something will change my mind before the election.

hi, i'm peer. peer pressure.

Well, I took Aidan this weekend to buy some new shoes. Since it's starting to cool off, I have to get him on board with some shoes that aren't his Diego sandals. He sort of has a shoe obsession, which is weird, so you have to work with him on it. Like, when he meets new people or sees someone he hasn't seen in a while, 85% of the time the first thing he says is "See my shoes?" or "Got my shoes!" Sometimes, "Got my socks!" Once he gets obsessed with method of dressing his feet, it is a pain to make him switch. So, he wears socks with sandals for the first month of summer (the sandals are enough of a switch). Then when you get him out of the socks, he never wants to wear them again.

So we hit PayLess. I pulled all the tennis shoes off of the rack in his size as early as possible, to keep him from asking for the pink Dora tennis shoes. I'm a pretty open-minded person when it comes to his having a pink cup with flowers, a pink and yellow Dora blanket, wanting to wear my bra around the house... but I just can't bring myself to allow him to have flowery pink Dora tennis shoes. There are a few really cute pairs that look like shoes I'd wear. And there are the requisite character shoes (Cars/Lightning McQueen and Iron Man). I figure he'll pick one of these and am silently cheering for Iron Man, because, really, it's cooler. Of course, he immediately picks the Cars ones and won't try on any others for the rest of the time we are there.

So I sadly think, so much for the days when I used to keep him dressed pretty cute... at least I still get to pick out his clothes. And then this morning when we are getting dressed, he doesn't want to put on his shoes. Why? Because, and I quote: "I WANT SKECHERS. LIKE MARK!" Yes, Skechers. He is asking for name brands. Like the rich annoying kid at daycare who has older siblings. And I am thinking, "You don't need name brand shoes, kid! Name brands don't matter." But in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, "Skechers are so nineties."

my new favorite lyrics

So it's not my new favorite song, per se, but I am loving these lyrics. I think I would have really loved them when I was younger. It's just a cool idea for a song.

Scar (by Missy Higgins)

He left a card, a bar of soap and a scrubbing brush next to a note
that said, "Use these down to your bones."
And before I knew I had shiny skin and it felt easy being clean like him,
I thought, "This one knows better than I do."

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle -
He tried to cut me so I'd fit.

And doesn't that sound familiar?
Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver,
the way things could've gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar
that everyone wants a little more?
So that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

So the next one came with a bag of treats,
She smelled like sugar and spoke like the sea
She told me, "Don't trust them, trust me."
Then she pulled at my stitches one by one,
Looked at my insides, clicking her tongue,
And said "This will all have to come undone."

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle -
She tried to blunt me so I'd fit.

And doesn't that sound familiar?
Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver,
the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar,
that everyone wants a little more?
So that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

I think I realised just in time, about my old self was hard to find.
You can bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine.
'Cos I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys,
Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same?

And doesn't that sound familiar?
Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver,
the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar
that everyone wants a little more?

So that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

ANTM October 1

Okay, is it just me, or are you ready to kill Paulina? Janice was the judge everyone loved to hate, and frankly, I loved her. But I also love Simon on American Idol. Twiggy was okay, particularly once they introduced Miss J into the mix... he's the new critique person, and Twiggy's accent made me laugh at her comments. Really, I could laugh myself silly when Miss J says "What erszh it? Exquerszhite." Paulina is the worst development to the show since the expanded the season premiere debut budget.

Between chasing Aidan into the bathtub and getting him set up with Shrek the Third, I missed some of the beginning, but unfortunately, I did not miss the part where Paulina comes out pretending to be all frumpy in an ill-fitting skirt/suit. Whatever, jerk. You're six feet tall and wear a size two. I am not even someone who struggles with my size, and that ticks me off, so I can only imagine. That whole challenge was ridiculous. Because God knows, if you go to a catalog shoot, you'll be subjected to altering your own outfit using Bud Light cans and crazy straws. If I were a catalog publisher, I'd be so ticked. And knowing what has happened with the careers of the ANTM girls in the past, they shouldn't be burning the catalog bridge.

Then we segue into the annoying life of Marjorie. (I just learned from Tim Gunn how to spell segue via a Project Runway subtitle! I always thought it was segway like the machine!) I'm not going to waste my time on this, but, um, Marjorie? Having parents who were born and raised in Europe doesn't make you retarded; it just makes you European. I've spent a little time in France, and the populace there is not retarded. Like you.

The photo shoot was sort of stupid, as usual. Not more stupid than last week's "your whole face underwater" shoot, but also not as cool as the hot air balloon shoot. The retro clothes and hairdos were supercute, but I hate the natural disaster motif. God knows what they were shooting for with that. They raved over a few that I thought sucked (like Samantha). They praised old needlenose McKey despite the fact that her face looks like she's been smashed in the pages of a book. And they were only mediocre with Analeigh and Lauren Brie, who are my new favorites. They are the cutest ones. And Paulina had the nerve to call Analeigh "not photogenic". Whatever, Paulina. Have you seen your husband lately? I wouldn't be calling anyone non-photogenic.

So in the end, they boot Clark, vise-face girl that despite the vise-face, I sort of liked. Oh well. I guess you get what you pay for, because apparently she had a nose job before going on the show. Here are her before and after rhinoplasty shots.

BEFORE

AFTER

seal imitation

idiots

Note to woman at theatre:

Perhaps you should grow a brain before visiting the movie theatre with a six-year-old. In case you weren't aware, R rated movies are not appropriate. Especially a Coen Brothers movie. Did you not see No Country for Old Men? Burn After Reading is not only inappropriate, but would be incredibly boring for a child.

Besides the fact that they dropped like eight F-bombs in the first scene, which even made me feel uncomfortable with the kid there. And watching someone get shot right in the forehead, blood and all, is probably not the image you want your grandson going to bed with.

avada kedavra!

How hilarious is this.  It's from the PostSecret blog.

R.I.P. Marlin the First

Ahhh... a sad night for the Filpi house last night. Tony called me when my class was ending and whispered, "I think something's wrong with the fish." Apparently they were all sluggish when he went in to feed them last night. By the time I got home, poor Marlin, the calico one, was floating upside down in one of their little plants. We kept the door closed so we wouldn't have to deal with Aidan yet, so he doesn't know. I don't mind telling him that a fish died, but I don't particularly want him actually seeing Marlin floating upside down.

Nemo is still alive, but frankly, I've thought for a long time that he was a little retarded mentally. He was always a follower, and now that Marlin's gone, he's just completely clueless. Marlin was the one who would race to the top for the food, and Nemo would stupidly follow.

So today I'm off to Petco to get more fish. I'm going to get a calico to replace Marlin, so we'll have Marlin the Second. I might also get a third goldfish, in case Nemo dies next. And I'm going to get a sucker fish to help keep it clean. We'll see if the next one survives. Marlin made it over four months. I guess that's not bad for a cheap goldfish. Too bad. He was the one I preferred.

ANTM Cycle 11 Episode 3: Makeovers

I read Jennifer Eolin's blogs about Project Runway, and they are hilarious. I'd love to find one that is about America's Next Top Model, since it's my favorite show on my cable package, but since no one has ever sent me word of one, I am going to occasionally blog about it myself.

So this week was makeover week. Let me say, I will defend the quality of the show as far as seeing cool pictures – which is why this show is good no matter who is cast, because it's always cool to see the pictures and hear the critique. HOWEVER, I will not defend the stupidity of this season's little sketches. You know, they've done some pretty retarded theme-y sketches in the past. The military opener. The schoolgirl opener (ANTM Academy). I thought we'd at least gotten past the terrible sketches after that unspeakably horrible opener with the stupid robots and machines. Oh, no. Last night they pulled out something even dumber, with that whole Snow White/poison apple thing. So you want the makeovers to be a surprise. Why not just say that? Idiots. I will say, however, that they should have done this from the very start. Then people couldn't protest and they'd just have to deal with it after it was over. So on to the makeovers.

I don't know what the hell was up with Elina, my favorite face of the competition. I mean, okay, you want to eliminate the dark hair, but why not let her have STRAIGHT hair? It could be red, although I still think she looks a hundred times better as a brunette. Like my sister Candace said, she ended up looking like Carrot Top.

Samantha's makeover, though, might have just pushed her into my top three. Of course, it's very similar to the haircut I had before I stupidly changed it and cut it shorter, so perhaps I'm biased. Of course, mine never looked like that since I don't know how to fix it.

Isis just needs to be voted off. If she's already talking about feeling uncomfortable posing in swimsuits, then she needs to wait until she's post-op to try the modeling thing. Besides the fact that she needs dental work. Her bone structure is good, but come on.

Joslyn continuously amazes me in the pics. At least her face. I love when miss j made fun of her pose. She's so annoying in person but her face looks so modelly. She's from Louisiana, so of course she's annoying. Much like the girl they had a few seasons ago when they had to boot her off because she was so miserable all the time because of Hurricane Katrina. Like, I'm pretty sure any other evacuee would be THRILLED to be put up in a fancy house in the city and fed and paid by Tyra Banks rather than the toxic FEMA trailer.

I have a feeling that they intentionally gave Lauren Brie platinum blonde hair because they are going to eventually use the excuse that she's too "Americana California girl" to be America's next top model. Then she'll get kicked off all because of their makeover. They did the same thing to Renee a few seasons ago: essentially cut her hair into a mullet and then when they kicked her off, they said it was because she looked too old. Anyone looks old with a mullet.

Sheena should just go ahead and leave now. She looks like a giant, but that's not why. Unless they're going to continue the political statements (last season's "plus-size" winner is political statement one; pre-op transsexual is obviously two), I can't imagine she'll win. She's too Maxim.

McKey looks essentially the same to me. From bright red hair to goth black… it's all extreme. Her face looks good in pictures, but I don't like her. Moving on…

Clark seems like a nice enough person, but her face looks like someone took it in a vice and squeezed. It's so pointy and narrow. Brown hair doesn't cover that crap up.

Marjorie looks better with the brown hair, but OKAY, TYRA, we get it. She's lived in France. Must you hack into the terrible French accent every time you say her name? It's like when Katarzyna was on last season. She attempted to teach them to pronounce her name correctly for like half the season, and finally Tyra just essentially said, I don't care, this is how I'm saying it. So she was Ka-TAR-jin-uh the entire season.

Despite the girls' attack on Hannah, she's also a favorite of mine. I don't think she's more photogenic than the other girls, but she seems so cute and regular. And I love her new hair cut. Those are the bangs I was going for when I cut mine, to no avail.

So last we have Analeigh and Brittany. Could they have made it ANY more obvious throughout the show that one of them was going home? I didn't even remember Brittany's name after the last two shows, and this time they showed her talking constantly. And Analeigh was the other one that they focused on. I think she's cute, but not in pictures. So they are in the bottom two, and they vote off Brittany. So, let's keep Vise-Face Clark, Buxom Sheena, and Political Statement Isis and vote off one of the prettiest faces in the competition. Idiots. I've agreed with the kickoffs the last two weeks, with Anorexia Girl and "I AM America's Next Top Model" Girl, but this week they got it wrong.

mutants

So I went shopping yesterday.

I drive for almost two hours to a new, bigger mall and go into all the regular stores plus a few new ones. First, is it me, or have prices become just unpayable? I don't recall ever picking up a price tag on a long-sleeved button up and seeing $68 on it and saying, "Cool, I think I'll buy this shirt!" I got Liam some little shoe-type things since he'll be learning to walk in the winter, and this woman at the shoe store was buying two pairs of shoes for her kid (the second set in three months, according to her, TMI). I picked up a few pairs of shoes similar, and the cheapest ones I saw were $42 for a pair of kids shoes. That the girl will run through mud in and grow out of in a few months. No thanks. Have you not heard of PayLess?

Secondly, am I a mutant, or does anyone else have trouble finding clothes that fit appropriately? Maybe it's the stores I'm going into, but all pants I saw either were mom jean like at the waist or were so low cut that you could almost see my underwear. Granted, I used to wear the real low jeans, but now that my stomach has no elasticity, I can't pretend I don't have a small muffin top up there, so I need some barrier. And it's not like I only hit the teenybopper stores -- I went into the Gap and the Limited, etc. Suffice it to say that the stores that had appropriate pants had NONE in khaki or a non-dressy material. I ended up buying craploads of stuff for Aidan, some for Liam, and all I got for myself at the mall was a pair of warmup pants and two sleep tees from VS Pink. I hit the outlets on the way home and at least got a few long sleeved t-shirts. No pants.

Lastly, note to clothing manufacturers: Perhaps there is somewhere on the planet overrun with tall girls who wear sizes 0, 2, and 4, but that is not the case for most places. In other words, if someone wears one of those sizes, chances are they are short. So why can I not find any of them in a short length????? I don't want to wear heels every day! If I wore a larger size, they'd have short, but that doesn't help me. And apparently, any specialty pants, like cords, aren't made in shorts for any size.

Screw you, tall people favoring manufacturers. It's the same thing with putting the smallest sizes of pants on the top shelf. You know it's just because they want to see us short people jumping.

weird dreams

I have been having the weirdest dreams in which I am in odd positions but happy because I at least have a steady group of people to hang out with and talk to.

First, a few days ago, I actually dreamed that I was one of the wives in the polygamist family on Big Love. Of course, I had just finished watching the second season on DVD, but the main thing about my dream had nothing to do with the stupid husband; it was cool because I had the three girls to hang out with, mainly Margene, who's the coolest one.

Then last night, my brain was like, "Let's see how many people we can jam into one dream in your head." At various times in the dream, I was hanging out at Kari's house with her and Kristi talking about Kari maybe going to SLU for some fun classes. Then I was in the car with Jenny and we were driving to go to work, apparently together. Then my mom was there to pick up the boys. Then we ended up going through this restaurant type place at some point, and all kinds of people were there that I haven't seen in forever: Lauren , Mandy, and a bunch of other people from high school I never even hung out with.

In a way, it seems weird that people are going around with a bunch of friends they graduated high school with. In another, it sounds marvelous.

my child, the loaf of wonder bread

I have been shopping online to see what I can get for Aidan for Halloween. I think he's decided on Scooby... although I didn't let him see the pictures because he'll wig out and want the costume NOW. I just narrowed it down and said, "Who do you like the best? Barry from Bee Movie, Shrek, or Scooby Doo?" He chose Scooby.

The most entertaining, however, are the baby costumes. Check these out:

Just in case your kid is already a super nerd:

For the stoned college student in you:

Just in case you're wanting to give your kid a complex:

My favorite, Mr. Peanut, sans monocle:

And the saddest one. For obvious reasons, but also, look at this poor baby's face! They even spelled whoopie wrong.

mighty morphin' aidan

This morning, I was trying to get Aidan to put on a sweatshirt since the high is like 60 today. I was convincing him by telling him it had a baseball on the front. And I said, "Annie plays baseball, and Uncle Chris and Natalie. And Candace used to play baseball."

He said, "Yeah, and when she turns into me, she'll turn into baseball."

oblique strategies

From the Oblique Strategies (Brian Eno/Peter Schmidt):

Instead of changing the thing, change the world around it.
Try faking it.
Fill every beat with something.
Do nothing for as long as possible.
Use "unqualified" people.
Make a blank valuable by putting it in an exquisite frame.
Imagine the music as a series of disconnected events.
Pay attention to distractions.
Abandon normal instruments.
A line has two sides.
Don't be afraid of things because they're easy to do.
Don't be frightened of clichés.
Don't be frightened to display your talents.
Honor thy error as a hidden intention.
Make an exhaustive list of everything you might do and do the last thing on the list.
Mute and continue.
Shut the door and listen from outside.
Trust in the you of now.
You can only make one dot at a time.
Always give yourself credit for having more than personality.
Listen to the quiet voice.
Overtly resist change.
Question the heroic approach.
Do something sudden, destructive and unpredictable.
Give the game away.
Go to an extreme, come part way back.
Choosing to withdraw in disgust is not apathy.

pointless blog (but peculiar)

Okay, this blog is really about nothing, but weird anyway.

Last night, I was ready to sleep like a dead person, after two nights of sitting up half the night unable to sleep, partially because my legs were bothering me so bad I was ready to self-amputate, and partially because I couldn't seem to get tired enough. I was sleepy all day yesterday, so I knew I'd sleep last night.

I hit the sack at like 8:30, after Aidan and Liam thankfully went down without fights early. I passed out like a coma victim, and only woke up when summoned by Aidan hollering (wet the bed again -- Tony got it for me) and Liam (bottle then back to bed).

Then at four in the morning, I was awakened by what sounded like banging on the door outside. Weirdly, not even the front door -- the side door, down a little walkway in between the house and the garage. I woke Tony up, and then we heard it again, so he went upstairs to see what was up.

Some girl who lives a few houses down (I'm guessing she tried each house and we were the first to answer) wanted to use the phone to call the cops because her husband/boyfriend person had come up drunk or on something and was being violent or something. She did all that, but then when Tony offered for her to come in or to give her a ride somewhere, she was like, No thanks, and just walked off.

Weird. So much for the best night of sleep I've had in a long time!

news from south louisiana

Excerpts from msgs from my dad:

Hurricane Gustav devastated our state with one of the worst storms to hit Louisiana in my lifetime. This storm, even though it didn't cause the annihilation of New Orleans, has set much of South Louisiana back almost into the stone age temporarily. Multiplied thousands are living with candles, lanterns, water and whatever food they can find.

Our area is faring better than many, with much of the power coming back on line, but there are still many who probably won't be so blessed for at least another 7 to 14 days. Anyone who has been in Louisiana in the sweltering heat of summer knows that it's a miserable thing to not even be able to run a fan. Some folks have private wells so they are having to find bottled water only since the pumps won't run. Generators and small window a/c units are selling at a premium when they can be found.

At least gasoline has been available even though it sometimes takes up to a 3 hour wait to get to the pump because so few stations are open. It's getting better each day and I think in about a week or so, we should be getting much closer to normal.

It feels so good now to have A/C, a working washer and dryer and lights that work. Keep all the folks in prayer who don't have these necessities. [My grandmother's and my aunt's] electricity are both still off.

School will start the middle of next week for the east side of the Mississippi River, but not for the west side where there was more damage.

I finally finished raking and cleaning [my grandmother's] yard. There were about 100 wheelbarrow loads of leaves and branches to haul away. The temporary repairs to the roof of our house and the church are finished but if Hurricane Ike comes our way I'll need to beef those repairs and probably redo them after it's gone. I hope it goes somewhere else. Two major hurricanes in 2 weeks is more than I ever want to see, but it happened a few years ago with Katrina and Rita.

There's something about Labor Day that always seems to attract a hurricane. It's happened many times. My senior year in high school began with Hurricane Betsy and delayed our graduation for almost a month.

Thankfully no one was injured but there was a lot of damage. [My aunt] lost her trailer to a tree that just about cut it in two. My two cousins, Martha and Nicky both lost their homes to trees. Several church members had trees hit their homes and damage them. About half now have electricity and those who don't may have a long wait, especially if the lines to their home are down but not the main line on the street. Those are the homes they do last. I'm glad we have underground utilities in our neighborhood because there's less time in getting us connected again.

The church has no electricity and I don't know when it will come on so we are going to have a very short service in the morning and no night services at all.

Now we have to get prepared for another round and this time the stores aren't stocked as well becasue of all the panic buying again. Not that I'm worried. We have enough food on hand for a while and plenty of water. I'll need to refill some of the gas cans but both vehicles are full.

idiots

Note to the idiot woman who I saw at the gas station:

When every tank is occupied, and there are people waiting behind several of the tanks, this is probably not the best time to meticulously clean your windshield with the squeegee after you are done pumping gas. From the look of you and your car and your outfit, you are probably retired. Go home and clean it there. Some of us actually have to be somewhere.

hopefully not a fluke - slash - hurricane report

So we spent our first night last night with all of us sleeping downstairs. Aidan's room down there is pretty much set up, so his upstairs old room is in complete disarray, but we figured sleeping down there now will force us to keep stuff moving. Liam also took regular (non-soy) formula yesterday for the first time with no puking. Yay! The result? Last night, Liam went to bed at 7 pm, and Aidan went to bed at 9 pm, and I went to bed after that, and NO ONE woke up all night long! Well, I mean, I woke up, but I didn't have to get out of bed to feed the baby or do anything with Aidan all night long. Perhaps it's the filling dairy formula, perhaps it's the darkness or temperature or quiet, but I'm hoping this is the start of a new era.

And for my non-Louisianers:

I talked to Mama this morning and apparently it's worse than initially thought, now that they've driven around. She said that Gonzales got worse damage from this one than they did in Katrina. There are two houses that had trees fall through them on their road, and there are trees down everywhere. Aunt Toni (she's around Baton Rouge) had a tree go through her trailer and take out two bedrooms (and Charlotte and her husband had just moved in, so now they are out of living there for now). Jake took and posted some pics. Here's a house close to Momo's house that got a visit from a tree:


In Gonzales, they're talking about potentially being out of power for two weeks or more. The stores that are open are so packed that you can't get into the parking lots, and there's a line at all the gas stations that are open so you have to wait forever to get gas, because everyone's needing gas for generators and stuff like that. And a few photos of gas stations that won't be making cash any time soon:




I told Mama that she and Daddy should pack up and come out here for a few weeks, but Daddy won't leave everyone there.

The church had some roof damage, and their house had some roof damage, but they didn't get anything bad really.

Mama and Daddy have a generator hooked up at their house, so they have the window unit ACs and the TV, but no cable, so they are just watching movies. Candace, Charlie, and Kimberly and Randall are all there, plus the kids, plus Momo Hazel. There isn't enough medication in the world to make me want to be in that house right now.

redundancies

Here is a hilarious list of redundancies from a book I just read. Makes me feel kind of stupid, because while they are obviously ridiculous when I read them, I use some of them, as does everyone on TV and people I know.

False pretenses
Armed gunman
Convicted felon
Hired mercenary
Forcible rape (this one I thought was particularly retarded)
Terrible tragedy
General public
First discovered/first established/first created…
Personal friend
Innocent bystander
Residual trace
Small detail
Disappear from view
Fall down
Climb up
Stand up
Follow after
Weave in and out
All throughout
Close proximity
Raining outside
Immediately adjoining
Scheduled appointment
Exact same
Unsubstantiated allegation
And etc.
Contributing factor
Hot water heater
Holy Bible
Different varieties
Natural instinct
Free gift

au revoir, mes cheveux bleus

So, either tonight or tomorrow I'll be bidding adieu to the blue hair. It's just gotten to where I'm just not caring enough to keep it up. It fades so fast, and it's bad enough to constantly have to get my hair cut without having to spend buttloads of money keeping it dyed. And every time I go, I have to spend like two hours, because it takes an hour to bleach the panels out and then an hour for the blue to set. I just bought some temporary hair dye (Herbal Essences) in a groovy red color called "Malaysian Cherry." I haven't done anything red in a while, so we'll see how that goes. The white/blue parts will probably be flaming, but who cares.

One thing I did learn in the past, let's see, how long has it been? eight months, I guess... One thing I did learn was that if you want to see how fast you get judged on your appearance, go out into a very traditional-values kind of place with blue streaks in your hair, a t-shirt that says "I support same-sex marriage", and a child holding your hand. I have gotten some pretty hilarious and judgmental looks in the grocery store.

who are you voting for?

nerdy book questions

Question #1:
Has anyone read Suskind's Perfume? Is it good? I am on page one and am already having serious trouble getting past the main character's name - Grenouille... Which I am fairly certain means FROG in French. Is it worth my forcing myself and my OCD past this?

Question #2:
I am on the lookout for two exceptionally nerdy book topics. Has anyone read any good popular historical books (non-fiction, but more pop than academic) books about the unrest in Ireland OR the life of Theodore Roosevelt? I am interested in these two subjects but don't want to read a textbook.

props to the HB

So I often feel as though I am not the greatest parent in the world. I mean, I’m not going to use the word “worst” because it’s not like I’m a meth head or a prostitute or something, but I definitely think I could be better. However…

I am constantly guilty because I have absolutely zero desire to stay at home with the boys. And when I say zero, I mean I bring them to daycare even on days that I am at home without a whole lot of work to do, even though I feel so guilty I could drive my car into a tree on the way home. I just know that if I keep them at home with me, both of them, I’ll be insane by the end of the day, and I’ll feel even worse for not being a good enough mom to be happy with them and not get aggravated.

I also feel like a big piece of crap most of the time about playing with Aidan. Not that I never play with him, but I feel like there are probably moms who have the energy and desire to play with their three-year-olds constantly, unless they are actively doing housework or cooking or something. Like I am a giant loser because I just want Aidan to chill while I watch a TV show or read a little. And while normally he just wants my presence, which is easy, I feel especially guilty when he wants to play outside, because frankly, I could never enter the out of doors in my entire life and I’d be a happy person. I have no desire to do sports or to do anything that requires me to sweat or be unable to sit or lie down comfortably. Again, I do take Aidan outside to play, so I’m not the worst mom in the world.

I guess I feel terrible because I just frankly don’t want to do most of the things I have to do. I mean, I stupidly look forward to the day when my kids are teenagers and are doing their own things so I can have my life back. Of course, at that point, I’ll be saying, “Oh, remember when they were so young and cute and wanted to talk to me?” When I married Tony, I thought, Yes! Here’s a guy who will be happy playing ball and doing outdoorsy stuff with my kids so I don’t have to. Joke’s on me… we’re equally lazy. A match made in heaven.

Anyway, the point of this little confessional is to say that I always enjoy when someone whom I consider to be an excellent mother says something that makes me feel like I’m not so bad. I don’t know if I’m just way worse than anyone on the planet or just perhaps people don’t spill the beans as much as I do about the negative.

I went to my cousin C’s house while we were in Louisiana and hung out with him and his wife H. H stayed at home with both of her kids (she still does, although not full time now, since E started kindergarten and Olivia was already in school). She clearly budgets well, her house is spotless every time I go over there. The kids are clearly not spoiled jackasses, and she’s maintained her attractiveness. They don’t even have cable, or at least they didn’t the last time we watched TV there. She’s all about the family. And when we were there, she admitted that when O was little, they started a routine of taking turns to read her a story to put her to bed when she was little, and about how annoying it got to be, so annoying that they never even started that with E because they didn’t want to be stuck doing it every night.

That made me feel a hundred percent better. I am always thinking, “I should want to play outside! I should want to read this Fozzie the Bear book another four hundred times! Why don’t I enjoy playing Matchbox cards with Aidan?” I really appreciated H's honesty in that situation, although I’m sure she just said it in passing. People should admit those things more, so that the rest of us losers don’t have to feel so bad about ourselves. :)

and my typeface ocd is justified

So I've been pretty honest about how OCD I am about everything, and about how judgmental I am when dealing with typefaces/fonts, etc. I was completely justified when, yesterday, I was looking at the work websites of two of my former coworkers, one of whom we'll go ahead and call my arch nemesis, and both of them used Comic Sans as their base font.

Comic Sans.
(pause for laugh)

We're not fourth graders making a PowerPoint, people! GROW UP!

two times

Two times when all the weirdos who say how smart I am can see how wrong they've been:

1) When Hootie and the Blowfish won their gazillionth Grammy award. This, after the first time I saw a Hootie video (I think it was "Hold My Hand" in the winter of 1994/95, very late at night at Katie's triangle house). I remember specifically thinking, "How stupid are those people. No one is going to buy crap from a band named Hootie and the Blowfish. Idiots."

2) When we ran into an exbf on Bourbon last week. While I realize I was only fifteen when we started dating, I still should have been intelligent enough to see how mortified I'd be when, sixteen years later, I'd run into him while with my highly superior current husband. I mean really... I'm divorced, but the xhub wouldn't have been caught dead in that outfit this one had on, at the very least. How humiliating to have to see him with Tony there, learning that perhaps I was a little bit lower on the league steps.

more proof of my ocd tendencies

So we all know that I have a personal obsession with pointing out typos and spelling/punctuation mistakes. Nary a menu, billboard, or car commercial go by without my having to lend a critical comment.

I've recently had two more incidents prove that I'm going to end up in a mental institute one day separating the forks by the bend in their tines:

1) This girl I used to go to church with added me as her friend on a social networking site. Since she fulfilled my requirements for being a friend (one, I know her personally; two, she doesn't work with me; three, she's not a current student; and four, I don't mind if she reads my blogs), I added her. She only lasted a few days though. Why? Because she constantly updated her status and always typed in ALL CAPS. like MS. X IS HAVING A BAD DAY TODAY. or MS. X WISHES SOME PEOPLE WOULD JUST SHUT UP. While the actual status updates were sort of weird, the all caps is what clenched it. I had to delete her from my friends.

2) I just realized today that when someone sends me an attachment as a doc, that I literally cannot read it if the font offends my visual aesthetic in relation to the content. Someone sent me a poem and I opened it, and it was in a Lucida Calligraphy/Monotype Corsiva font (which I don't care for anyway... overused, people! You may as well use effing Comic Sans, my least favorite font of all time). I immediately had to select all, shrink the font, and put it into one of my regular (read: better) fonts.

things i've learned while in louisiana

1) I miss rainstorms. Today it poured, and it rules. Aidan was jumping in puddles and making footprints. Back home, when it pours (briefly, if at all), the rain is freezing cold, the wind is hard enough to blow you over, and there's usually LOTS of lightning. No playing outside in that.

2) It took less than a day to remember how the heat used to make me literally and physically enraged. I remember trying to go to Starbucks or something on Siegen in the winter and sweating my buttcheeks off. Not missing that, that's for sure.

3) I enjoy watching my TV shows with other people. Mama and me spent half of yesterday watching Project Runways that Candace had DVRed for me. It's much more fun to watch a show when someone is there to verbally abuse everyone on the show and criticize all the fashions and hairdos.

I am also PSYCHED about tonight. Kari and Michael and me and Tony are spending the night in New Orleans. Candace and her friend are coming earlier, too, I think. YEEHAW! I haven't been to New Orleans at all since the weekend we got married four years ago, and I haven't been out in New Orleans since before I met Tony.

the lucrative business of lunacy

I just read part of this book, Them: Adventures with Extremists by Jon Ronson, about conspiracy theorists. Some of the stories were interesting and some were weird and some were stupid. The most entertaining and ludicrous, however, was about this guy David Icke. Have you heard of him? Apparently, he makes a living speaking and publishing about the craziest theory I've ever heard in my life. It's hilarious. Details below, copied from an online article:

Most of [David] Icke's ideas are extraneous in terms of the purpose of this essay and as such will not be discussed here. ...immediately all that will be necessary is a brief overview of his beliefs and how he came into the public spotlight...

To suggest that David Icke's theories are unusual would be an understatement. Icke is the author of several books that (in a nutshell) essentially maintain that an elite cabal of shape-shifting, child molesting, human sacrificing, Satan worshipping, lizard-aliens are currently engaged in a conspiracy to centralize power and enslave the human race...

Icke's lizard theory is based on secondhand allegations that various elite families possess an alien-reptilian bloodline that allows them to transform between human and reptilian shapes. The Bush family are cited as being shape-shifters, as are the Rothschilds, the Windsors, the Rockefellers, Tony Blair, Hillary Clinton (not Bill), and Henry Kissinger, just to mention a few. Icke's lizard theory, like most of his theories, was inspired largely by previously published material written by people such as Alex Christopher and alleged CIA mind control victim Cathy O'Brien (later he would also incorporate the tales of Zulu shaman Credo Mutwa). O'Brien claimed that George Bush Sr. had told her that he was an alien and then transformed into a lizard in front of her...

being a midget is so much easier

When will I realize that I do not, in fact, still wear a small? My entire life, I have always worn the smallest sizes in everything. I used complain about how it was hard to find stuff that was small enough to fit me, since I'm a midget and have the smallest frame on the universe, except for Candace, who is the one person whose frame is smaller. I remember how annoying that used to be.

However, it is much easier when you know that you just automatically need the smallest size ever. I don't know if I'll remain the size I am now, since it's still only been nine months since I had Liam, but I keep forgetting, stupidly, like an Alzheimer's patient, that I am not the size I used to be. I bought a few t-shirts online and got mediums, thinking they'd be comfy. Yeah, they're fitting like Hollister t-shirts. Then I just went to Sam's for diapers and bought a three pack of cotton tanks to sleep in, and I got small, thinking I didn't want the arm and neck holes to hang too much. Yeah, I needed AT LEAST the medium. Good thing they were only four bucks.

Vindication, however: I saw this kid I taught (when I was still teaching high school) working at Sam's. He's one of the people who was tranferred out of my senior lit class because it was "too hard" and everyone wanted him to be able to play a sport. He got transferred into party teacher's class. Oh, yeah. Congratulations, academic. That job at Sam's. The future's so bright, you gotta wear shades.

in case you were wondering

Who the best husband in the world is... It's Tony.

We just got the DVD from Chris and Natalie's wedding last year. They were the ones that Aidan "bore the ring" for last summer. Tony was the best man.

So I cruise through the different parts of the DVD and get to Tony's speech. Because I had Aidan, I ended up missing most of the ceremony and the entire reception so I didn't hear it then.

He started out joking about Chris, of course. But the bulk of his speech was this:

"Plato said that when we're born, each of us---our spirit or our soul is not complete. And it's our job to go out and find our spirit or soul. I've been fortunate enough that I've had that experience twice in my life. The second time was when I met my wife. The first time was when I met Chris."

And let's all say it together.... AWWWWW!

(BTW: It's from Plato's Phaedrus, I think... I read it a long time ago, but that's where we get the terms "soul mate" and "other half" from.)