seal imitation

idiots

Note to woman at theatre:

Perhaps you should grow a brain before visiting the movie theatre with a six-year-old. In case you weren't aware, R rated movies are not appropriate. Especially a Coen Brothers movie. Did you not see No Country for Old Men? Burn After Reading is not only inappropriate, but would be incredibly boring for a child.

Besides the fact that they dropped like eight F-bombs in the first scene, which even made me feel uncomfortable with the kid there. And watching someone get shot right in the forehead, blood and all, is probably not the image you want your grandson going to bed with.

avada kedavra!

How hilarious is this.  It's from the PostSecret blog.

R.I.P. Marlin the First

Ahhh... a sad night for the Filpi house last night. Tony called me when my class was ending and whispered, "I think something's wrong with the fish." Apparently they were all sluggish when he went in to feed them last night. By the time I got home, poor Marlin, the calico one, was floating upside down in one of their little plants. We kept the door closed so we wouldn't have to deal with Aidan yet, so he doesn't know. I don't mind telling him that a fish died, but I don't particularly want him actually seeing Marlin floating upside down.

Nemo is still alive, but frankly, I've thought for a long time that he was a little retarded mentally. He was always a follower, and now that Marlin's gone, he's just completely clueless. Marlin was the one who would race to the top for the food, and Nemo would stupidly follow.

So today I'm off to Petco to get more fish. I'm going to get a calico to replace Marlin, so we'll have Marlin the Second. I might also get a third goldfish, in case Nemo dies next. And I'm going to get a sucker fish to help keep it clean. We'll see if the next one survives. Marlin made it over four months. I guess that's not bad for a cheap goldfish. Too bad. He was the one I preferred.

ANTM Cycle 11 Episode 3: Makeovers

I read Jennifer Eolin's blogs about Project Runway, and they are hilarious. I'd love to find one that is about America's Next Top Model, since it's my favorite show on my cable package, but since no one has ever sent me word of one, I am going to occasionally blog about it myself.

So this week was makeover week. Let me say, I will defend the quality of the show as far as seeing cool pictures – which is why this show is good no matter who is cast, because it's always cool to see the pictures and hear the critique. HOWEVER, I will not defend the stupidity of this season's little sketches. You know, they've done some pretty retarded theme-y sketches in the past. The military opener. The schoolgirl opener (ANTM Academy). I thought we'd at least gotten past the terrible sketches after that unspeakably horrible opener with the stupid robots and machines. Oh, no. Last night they pulled out something even dumber, with that whole Snow White/poison apple thing. So you want the makeovers to be a surprise. Why not just say that? Idiots. I will say, however, that they should have done this from the very start. Then people couldn't protest and they'd just have to deal with it after it was over. So on to the makeovers.

I don't know what the hell was up with Elina, my favorite face of the competition. I mean, okay, you want to eliminate the dark hair, but why not let her have STRAIGHT hair? It could be red, although I still think she looks a hundred times better as a brunette. Like my sister Candace said, she ended up looking like Carrot Top.

Samantha's makeover, though, might have just pushed her into my top three. Of course, it's very similar to the haircut I had before I stupidly changed it and cut it shorter, so perhaps I'm biased. Of course, mine never looked like that since I don't know how to fix it.

Isis just needs to be voted off. If she's already talking about feeling uncomfortable posing in swimsuits, then she needs to wait until she's post-op to try the modeling thing. Besides the fact that she needs dental work. Her bone structure is good, but come on.

Joslyn continuously amazes me in the pics. At least her face. I love when miss j made fun of her pose. She's so annoying in person but her face looks so modelly. She's from Louisiana, so of course she's annoying. Much like the girl they had a few seasons ago when they had to boot her off because she was so miserable all the time because of Hurricane Katrina. Like, I'm pretty sure any other evacuee would be THRILLED to be put up in a fancy house in the city and fed and paid by Tyra Banks rather than the toxic FEMA trailer.

I have a feeling that they intentionally gave Lauren Brie platinum blonde hair because they are going to eventually use the excuse that she's too "Americana California girl" to be America's next top model. Then she'll get kicked off all because of their makeover. They did the same thing to Renee a few seasons ago: essentially cut her hair into a mullet and then when they kicked her off, they said it was because she looked too old. Anyone looks old with a mullet.

Sheena should just go ahead and leave now. She looks like a giant, but that's not why. Unless they're going to continue the political statements (last season's "plus-size" winner is political statement one; pre-op transsexual is obviously two), I can't imagine she'll win. She's too Maxim.

McKey looks essentially the same to me. From bright red hair to goth black… it's all extreme. Her face looks good in pictures, but I don't like her. Moving on…

Clark seems like a nice enough person, but her face looks like someone took it in a vice and squeezed. It's so pointy and narrow. Brown hair doesn't cover that crap up.

Marjorie looks better with the brown hair, but OKAY, TYRA, we get it. She's lived in France. Must you hack into the terrible French accent every time you say her name? It's like when Katarzyna was on last season. She attempted to teach them to pronounce her name correctly for like half the season, and finally Tyra just essentially said, I don't care, this is how I'm saying it. So she was Ka-TAR-jin-uh the entire season.

Despite the girls' attack on Hannah, she's also a favorite of mine. I don't think she's more photogenic than the other girls, but she seems so cute and regular. And I love her new hair cut. Those are the bangs I was going for when I cut mine, to no avail.

So last we have Analeigh and Brittany. Could they have made it ANY more obvious throughout the show that one of them was going home? I didn't even remember Brittany's name after the last two shows, and this time they showed her talking constantly. And Analeigh was the other one that they focused on. I think she's cute, but not in pictures. So they are in the bottom two, and they vote off Brittany. So, let's keep Vise-Face Clark, Buxom Sheena, and Political Statement Isis and vote off one of the prettiest faces in the competition. Idiots. I've agreed with the kickoffs the last two weeks, with Anorexia Girl and "I AM America's Next Top Model" Girl, but this week they got it wrong.

mutants

So I went shopping yesterday.

I drive for almost two hours to a new, bigger mall and go into all the regular stores plus a few new ones. First, is it me, or have prices become just unpayable? I don't recall ever picking up a price tag on a long-sleeved button up and seeing $68 on it and saying, "Cool, I think I'll buy this shirt!" I got Liam some little shoe-type things since he'll be learning to walk in the winter, and this woman at the shoe store was buying two pairs of shoes for her kid (the second set in three months, according to her, TMI). I picked up a few pairs of shoes similar, and the cheapest ones I saw were $42 for a pair of kids shoes. That the girl will run through mud in and grow out of in a few months. No thanks. Have you not heard of PayLess?

Secondly, am I a mutant, or does anyone else have trouble finding clothes that fit appropriately? Maybe it's the stores I'm going into, but all pants I saw either were mom jean like at the waist or were so low cut that you could almost see my underwear. Granted, I used to wear the real low jeans, but now that my stomach has no elasticity, I can't pretend I don't have a small muffin top up there, so I need some barrier. And it's not like I only hit the teenybopper stores -- I went into the Gap and the Limited, etc. Suffice it to say that the stores that had appropriate pants had NONE in khaki or a non-dressy material. I ended up buying craploads of stuff for Aidan, some for Liam, and all I got for myself at the mall was a pair of warmup pants and two sleep tees from VS Pink. I hit the outlets on the way home and at least got a few long sleeved t-shirts. No pants.

Lastly, note to clothing manufacturers: Perhaps there is somewhere on the planet overrun with tall girls who wear sizes 0, 2, and 4, but that is not the case for most places. In other words, if someone wears one of those sizes, chances are they are short. So why can I not find any of them in a short length????? I don't want to wear heels every day! If I wore a larger size, they'd have short, but that doesn't help me. And apparently, any specialty pants, like cords, aren't made in shorts for any size.

Screw you, tall people favoring manufacturers. It's the same thing with putting the smallest sizes of pants on the top shelf. You know it's just because they want to see us short people jumping.

weird dreams

I have been having the weirdest dreams in which I am in odd positions but happy because I at least have a steady group of people to hang out with and talk to.

First, a few days ago, I actually dreamed that I was one of the wives in the polygamist family on Big Love. Of course, I had just finished watching the second season on DVD, but the main thing about my dream had nothing to do with the stupid husband; it was cool because I had the three girls to hang out with, mainly Margene, who's the coolest one.

Then last night, my brain was like, "Let's see how many people we can jam into one dream in your head." At various times in the dream, I was hanging out at Kari's house with her and Kristi talking about Kari maybe going to SLU for some fun classes. Then I was in the car with Jenny and we were driving to go to work, apparently together. Then my mom was there to pick up the boys. Then we ended up going through this restaurant type place at some point, and all kinds of people were there that I haven't seen in forever: Lauren , Mandy, and a bunch of other people from high school I never even hung out with.

In a way, it seems weird that people are going around with a bunch of friends they graduated high school with. In another, it sounds marvelous.

my child, the loaf of wonder bread

I have been shopping online to see what I can get for Aidan for Halloween. I think he's decided on Scooby... although I didn't let him see the pictures because he'll wig out and want the costume NOW. I just narrowed it down and said, "Who do you like the best? Barry from Bee Movie, Shrek, or Scooby Doo?" He chose Scooby.

The most entertaining, however, are the baby costumes. Check these out:

Just in case your kid is already a super nerd:

For the stoned college student in you:

Just in case you're wanting to give your kid a complex:

My favorite, Mr. Peanut, sans monocle:

And the saddest one. For obvious reasons, but also, look at this poor baby's face! They even spelled whoopie wrong.

mighty morphin' aidan

This morning, I was trying to get Aidan to put on a sweatshirt since the high is like 60 today. I was convincing him by telling him it had a baseball on the front. And I said, "Annie plays baseball, and Uncle Chris and Natalie. And Candace used to play baseball."

He said, "Yeah, and when she turns into me, she'll turn into baseball."

oblique strategies

From the Oblique Strategies (Brian Eno/Peter Schmidt):

Instead of changing the thing, change the world around it.
Try faking it.
Fill every beat with something.
Do nothing for as long as possible.
Use "unqualified" people.
Make a blank valuable by putting it in an exquisite frame.
Imagine the music as a series of disconnected events.
Pay attention to distractions.
Abandon normal instruments.
A line has two sides.
Don't be afraid of things because they're easy to do.
Don't be frightened of clichés.
Don't be frightened to display your talents.
Honor thy error as a hidden intention.
Make an exhaustive list of everything you might do and do the last thing on the list.
Mute and continue.
Shut the door and listen from outside.
Trust in the you of now.
You can only make one dot at a time.
Always give yourself credit for having more than personality.
Listen to the quiet voice.
Overtly resist change.
Question the heroic approach.
Do something sudden, destructive and unpredictable.
Give the game away.
Go to an extreme, come part way back.
Choosing to withdraw in disgust is not apathy.

pointless blog (but peculiar)

Okay, this blog is really about nothing, but weird anyway.

Last night, I was ready to sleep like a dead person, after two nights of sitting up half the night unable to sleep, partially because my legs were bothering me so bad I was ready to self-amputate, and partially because I couldn't seem to get tired enough. I was sleepy all day yesterday, so I knew I'd sleep last night.

I hit the sack at like 8:30, after Aidan and Liam thankfully went down without fights early. I passed out like a coma victim, and only woke up when summoned by Aidan hollering (wet the bed again -- Tony got it for me) and Liam (bottle then back to bed).

Then at four in the morning, I was awakened by what sounded like banging on the door outside. Weirdly, not even the front door -- the side door, down a little walkway in between the house and the garage. I woke Tony up, and then we heard it again, so he went upstairs to see what was up.

Some girl who lives a few houses down (I'm guessing she tried each house and we were the first to answer) wanted to use the phone to call the cops because her husband/boyfriend person had come up drunk or on something and was being violent or something. She did all that, but then when Tony offered for her to come in or to give her a ride somewhere, she was like, No thanks, and just walked off.

Weird. So much for the best night of sleep I've had in a long time!

news from south louisiana

Excerpts from msgs from my dad:

Hurricane Gustav devastated our state with one of the worst storms to hit Louisiana in my lifetime. This storm, even though it didn't cause the annihilation of New Orleans, has set much of South Louisiana back almost into the stone age temporarily. Multiplied thousands are living with candles, lanterns, water and whatever food they can find.

Our area is faring better than many, with much of the power coming back on line, but there are still many who probably won't be so blessed for at least another 7 to 14 days. Anyone who has been in Louisiana in the sweltering heat of summer knows that it's a miserable thing to not even be able to run a fan. Some folks have private wells so they are having to find bottled water only since the pumps won't run. Generators and small window a/c units are selling at a premium when they can be found.

At least gasoline has been available even though it sometimes takes up to a 3 hour wait to get to the pump because so few stations are open. It's getting better each day and I think in about a week or so, we should be getting much closer to normal.

It feels so good now to have A/C, a working washer and dryer and lights that work. Keep all the folks in prayer who don't have these necessities. [My grandmother's and my aunt's] electricity are both still off.

School will start the middle of next week for the east side of the Mississippi River, but not for the west side where there was more damage.

I finally finished raking and cleaning [my grandmother's] yard. There were about 100 wheelbarrow loads of leaves and branches to haul away. The temporary repairs to the roof of our house and the church are finished but if Hurricane Ike comes our way I'll need to beef those repairs and probably redo them after it's gone. I hope it goes somewhere else. Two major hurricanes in 2 weeks is more than I ever want to see, but it happened a few years ago with Katrina and Rita.

There's something about Labor Day that always seems to attract a hurricane. It's happened many times. My senior year in high school began with Hurricane Betsy and delayed our graduation for almost a month.

Thankfully no one was injured but there was a lot of damage. [My aunt] lost her trailer to a tree that just about cut it in two. My two cousins, Martha and Nicky both lost their homes to trees. Several church members had trees hit their homes and damage them. About half now have electricity and those who don't may have a long wait, especially if the lines to their home are down but not the main line on the street. Those are the homes they do last. I'm glad we have underground utilities in our neighborhood because there's less time in getting us connected again.

The church has no electricity and I don't know when it will come on so we are going to have a very short service in the morning and no night services at all.

Now we have to get prepared for another round and this time the stores aren't stocked as well becasue of all the panic buying again. Not that I'm worried. We have enough food on hand for a while and plenty of water. I'll need to refill some of the gas cans but both vehicles are full.

idiots

Note to the idiot woman who I saw at the gas station:

When every tank is occupied, and there are people waiting behind several of the tanks, this is probably not the best time to meticulously clean your windshield with the squeegee after you are done pumping gas. From the look of you and your car and your outfit, you are probably retired. Go home and clean it there. Some of us actually have to be somewhere.

hopefully not a fluke - slash - hurricane report

So we spent our first night last night with all of us sleeping downstairs. Aidan's room down there is pretty much set up, so his upstairs old room is in complete disarray, but we figured sleeping down there now will force us to keep stuff moving. Liam also took regular (non-soy) formula yesterday for the first time with no puking. Yay! The result? Last night, Liam went to bed at 7 pm, and Aidan went to bed at 9 pm, and I went to bed after that, and NO ONE woke up all night long! Well, I mean, I woke up, but I didn't have to get out of bed to feed the baby or do anything with Aidan all night long. Perhaps it's the filling dairy formula, perhaps it's the darkness or temperature or quiet, but I'm hoping this is the start of a new era.

And for my non-Louisianers:

I talked to Mama this morning and apparently it's worse than initially thought, now that they've driven around. She said that Gonzales got worse damage from this one than they did in Katrina. There are two houses that had trees fall through them on their road, and there are trees down everywhere. Aunt Toni (she's around Baton Rouge) had a tree go through her trailer and take out two bedrooms (and Charlotte and her husband had just moved in, so now they are out of living there for now). Jake took and posted some pics. Here's a house close to Momo's house that got a visit from a tree:


In Gonzales, they're talking about potentially being out of power for two weeks or more. The stores that are open are so packed that you can't get into the parking lots, and there's a line at all the gas stations that are open so you have to wait forever to get gas, because everyone's needing gas for generators and stuff like that. And a few photos of gas stations that won't be making cash any time soon:




I told Mama that she and Daddy should pack up and come out here for a few weeks, but Daddy won't leave everyone there.

The church had some roof damage, and their house had some roof damage, but they didn't get anything bad really.

Mama and Daddy have a generator hooked up at their house, so they have the window unit ACs and the TV, but no cable, so they are just watching movies. Candace, Charlie, and Kimberly and Randall are all there, plus the kids, plus Momo Hazel. There isn't enough medication in the world to make me want to be in that house right now.