early costumes

Having Liam two days before Halloween has really amped up my interest in Halloween costumes, since now I can actually purchase and wear one. I've already been intrigued by the Lady Gaga variety coming out for this season, and I'm always drawn to the storybook characters, but how awesome would it be to be Optimus Prime?(http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/optimus-prime-adult-womens-costume/).

Regardless, here are two hilarious new ones for this fall that you KNOW you want to wear.

First, because you KNOW you want to say, "One... Two-hoo-hoo-hoo... Thrrrrreee."

http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/tootsie-pop-owl-adult-costume/

And second, because what better way to go to a bar and get in a fight and kick someone's ass than in this costume.

http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/shrek-gingrbrd-warr-adlt-costume/

those delicious young filets of female

I bought Tony these Canterbury Tales trivia type cards at this gift shop in Albuquerque, and I was looking at them this morning when we took the boys to the mall. Here is the best one I've found so far. This is the explanation in plain English on the back of Ye Olde English:

"A knight named January, having turned sixty, decides to wed for the first time. He explains that while he prefers old fish--such as an old pike instead of a young one--he is partial to young women. Yet he does find young veal more tasty than mature beef."

I'm wondering if, at 33, I'm young veal, old beef, old pike, or some missing link in between.

childless week one

So I dropped the boys off yesterday with Jan, after meeting her halfway, and we are kidless until around Friday. Here's my excited day one of no kids:

6:00 am - Tony's alarm goes off. I cover back up and go back to sleep.

10:30 am - I wake up (!!!!!!!!!!!)

10:45 am - I reach over and grab my phone and check my emails, etc. Twenty emails.

11:00 am - Make coffee.

12:00 pm - Finish grooming and getting dressed.

12:30 pm - Hang out outside.

2:15 pm - Answer work emails.

3:00 pm - Tony arrives home. We say hello, I am coloring, he goes up to the xbox.

4:00 pm - Tony orders pizza, at my suggestion.

4:30 pm - We eat at our respective stations.

TV watching and Xbox playing continue all evening. I also do crossword puzzles and color some more.

9:30 pm - I begin making cookies.

10:00 pm - Do dishes.

Now I am watching TV again. Tony's still playing xbox.

Aren't we exciting.

happy tuesday to me

So I'm feeling decent... the boys were good this morning, made great time, getting to my office with enough time to grade at least one research report... And on my way down the hall to my office, one of my stupid heels slid out from under me. I fell with a complete lack of grace, dropping my coffee travel mug, which proceeded to spill its way down the hall, rolling all the way to my office door. Now one leg of my pants is wet, I'm out of coffee already, and I had to spend half of my grading time wiping up spilled coffee with those completely non-absorbent brown school paper towels.

On the plus side, no one saw me, so when I told the dept secretary in case she wanted to call a custodian, I could lie and just say that I dropped my coffee. Thank goodness for dark jeans.

inner child

I've been thinking how funny it is the way that a little part of us never gets past some of those people/events in our history, at least not totally. It's especially been noticeable now that I'm in touch with so many people from high school on Facebook. Like, we graduated over fifteen years ago. In those fifteen years, I've been married, divorced, married again. I've gotten two degrees, had multiple jobs, had two miscarriages and two children. I've lived in various cities in Louisiana and have moved to Colorado. I've presented at an (sort of) academic conference, had an article published in a literary journal. I've bought two houses and have learned not to give a crap about what anyone thinks and to just have fun with life.

But inside, when I talk to certain people, there's still that little twinge of my teenage self. Not anything major, just a little shading. Like, emailing with someone who was once a best friend and then we grew apart, I sort of see that little preteen, wishing she had been able to keep up and stay friends and join the girl's new group. Getting friend requests from people from high school that I wouldn't have known they even know who I am, there's a seventh-grader in me that is thinking, "How do they know me?!" Having a message exchange with a guy I used to like umpteen years ago brings out the teenager in flux who's thinking, "Will I always be one of the guys?"

In real life, I don't have a problem with self-esteem anymore. In fact, I'm guessing a lot of people think that I'm conceited, and I can't disagree about that entirely. I know I'm not a supermodel, but I'm not a troll either. I am pretty secure about my job and my life and that I'm pretty smart and decent at what I do. I don't mind dancing on an empty dance floor or talking in front of a group, and I can easily laugh it off when I fall down in public (which is good, since it happens a lot). But deep down, I guess that insecure, depressed, "I'm not good enough" 17-year-old dressed in all black is still there.

the many faces of jamies

Following the direction of a friend, I went to urbandictionary.com and put in my first name. Check out these hilarious entries for me:

1. Jamie
A sweet girl with a cheery disposition on life, love and friendship. A cute girl.
Example:
Frank: So was she hot or what?
Tom: Cute smile great body, she was such a Jamie.


2. Jamie
A girl who is intelligent, yet silly. A girl who is cold on the outside, yet warm and cuddly on the inside. A girl who tell her friends everything, yet she has many secrets hidden. A girl who is a great friend, yet a worthy adversary if you are not a friend of hers. A girl who is extremely sweet and innocent, yet she kicks someone's ass when necessary.


3. Jamie
The king of stealing, is a fucking criminal mastermind of stealing. Is never caught and is very mischievous.
Example: You pulled a Jamie.


4. Jamie
The hottest girl on earth. She can melt the heart of any guy.
Example: This girl is the hottest girl on earth. She must be a Jamie.


5. Jamie
Someone who is hard to understand. She can be crazy, but her friends love her for that. Can have a bad temper but gets over it fast. Loves being random, is well liked.
Also, she is a shy person, and cares for many.
Example: I don't understand that Jamie.


6. Jamie
Those with the name Jamie tend to be kind people who enjoy music. They're great with making friends and usually have dark hair. Some are very attractive. They can be quiet at times but, given the chance to party... they will... Some have dry senses of humor and can be confused easily... that's part of the humor... Jamies usually have a crooked smile. Many like to dance and just have a good time. Male Jamies are totally and utterly attractive and absolutely love to "unleash the hound" and just dance it out till the sun comes up... and, if you're a Jamie and reading this, you lucky dog... :D Female Jamies are fun to be around and can be slightly tone-deaf... but all's good because they make up for it in attitude.

the turkey process

Here's a friend's response to another girl saying she is in the "phoenix process" with her life:

My story isn't the "phoenix process," rather something called the "turkey process." It's based on the idea that during a rainstorm, turkeys will stare up at the sky with their beaks hanging open, transfixed, until they drown. Whether that's true of turkeys or not, I really feel like that's my story. I'm still working on it, but nurturing my turkey aura helps me center myself as I "gobble" my way through this world. Haven't found a book on it yet.