little known facts about me

1) I say that I am an open book all the time if people ask me if I keep a lot of secrets. And even though I think that’s mostly true, except in cases where it’s a matter of self-preservation, there is one thing I do not discuss. With anyone. Bodily functions. I even get a little embarrassed talking to my doctors. Like, I think I would pose for Playboy (assuming they’d want me to do so). Like seriously, the thing that would keep me from being a stripper if I had no other way to earn a living isn’t the nudity but my discomfort dancing in public, but I don’t want to discuss any bathroom activities with anyone.

2) Often, when I’m in a group of people hanging out, I get on my own nerves. It’s like I am sitting outside of myself in the group, seeing myself annoy others, but I can't stop it. This has become especially pronounced now, since I’m more self-conscious here with people I really don't know well. I am super-conscious of all my little annoying habits, like repeating myself or saying things that are taken the wrong way, things that my people back home would dismiss.
3) I could watch the same shows on TV a thousand times. Like, I will forego watching a new DVD from Netflix because there’s an SVU marathon on TV.

4) I have a weird intolerance for rudeness. Like, when I taught high school, I couldn't care less if the kids came in with purple hair and a two inch spike through the nose -- but it really chapped my hide when they bump into me in the hallway and don't say excuse me. I get internally FURIOUS if I can't get through a grocery store aisle because some discourteous person is leisurely taking up the aisle.

5) While one of the major reasons I wanted to move out of LA was the heat, and I certainly appreciate the temperatures here, I miss the humidity like you wouldn’t believe. Everyone says, “I bet you’re glad it’s not so humid,” and sometimes if I’m especially homesick I could punch them in the face, the same way I feel sometimes when a Puebloan says the word “soda” with that Pueblo accent. When it’s humid, I feel like I can BREATHE.

6) I love watching beauty pageants. Mostly Miss America. The Trump pageants suck, but the Miss America series rocks. Judge me all you want.

7) I am pretty sure I have a mild case of OCD. Not joking, for real. I literally cannot go to sleep unless I have done the following: taken a bath that must include at least a few minutes of laying in the tub and reading, shaved my underarms and legs from hip to ankle, lotioned every part of my body that I can reach, and flossed and brushed my teeth. I also occasionally get into the routine of including eating ice cream or drinking something specific before I go to bed and then I can't go to sleep without doing that. For example, I had trouble going to sleep when I switched from chewable vitamin C to swallowable vitamin C. I also have to keep myself even. For example, if I start going up steps with my left foot, and there are an odd number of steps, and my right foot doesn't get an equal number, my left foot feels heavy for a long time. If I step on a line in the tile or sidewalk with one foot and am paying attention, I have to do it with the other foot, or again the heaviness will show up.

8) I literally HATE reading for deep meaning. I don't know if it's my age or personality or the years I spent in school, but I just want to read for fun and maybe look at cultural or social significance. Rarely am I interested in symbolism, etc. Which is pretty stupid, for an English teacher.

9) When I first started college, I wanted to be a journalist. Why did I not pursue that goal? Because the only intro to journalism class was offered on Tuesday and Thursday, and I wanted to go to school on Monday/Wednesday/Friday. For two or three semesters, I refused to change my schedule to T/Th, so I ended up having to switch out of journalism.

10) I’d never consider myself to have an eating disorder, because when it comes down to it, I will eat all your chips and salsa and potato salad, if my mom made it… but I literally could never eat if I didn’t have to. If they invented some sort of pill that would replace the nutrients and the feeling of eating, I would do that 9 times out of 10. Unless there is a social reason to eat, I hate having to do it to stay alive. Hardly anything I eat regularly is that satisfying. Plus, say what you will, if I had my way I’d weigh 95 pounds. I just want to have one of those skinny skinny skinny bodies I had when I was younger. I am still small, but I’m talking like Dr. Rey’s wife on Dr. 90210. As sick as she looks sometimes. I would love to be that skinny.

lookalikes

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Genalogy - Family pictures

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Family pics - Vintage photos

project runway

My comments:

Korto should have won based on that finale. That green final dress could appear on any starlet at the Oscars and it'd get good reviews. If I were more than four feet tall, I'd wear almost any of her clothes from that collection.

I like some of Leanne's work, but it's all the same. I particularly liked this one of Leanne's here: http://www.seenon.com/project-runway/season-5/photo/project-runway-5-episode-514-leanneand039s-final-collection/leannes-final-collection-look-5/

So two questions:

1) I wonder who picks their music for the runway show. Kenley's music effing sucked. I remember thinking that with Jeffrey Sebalia's music -- like maybe he'd recorded it himself, and while it fit his personality, I wouldn't have wanted to walk to it if I were a model. The other two last night were good, but Kenley's sucked.

2) What is up with Kenley's constant complaints about how much she's had to "fight"? I was under the impression that she had no family support, had clawed her way out of homelessness and abuse and had made it all on her own. Then there are her cute little parents in the audience last night, supportive and clapping. She bitched the entire season about how hard she's had to fight to get where she is... how is her "fight" different from the others'? I really liked her at the beginning, but good lawd, no one is going to want to work with her.

of course

Well, the house selling/moving thing doesn't appear as thought it's going to work out. I don't feel like going into it. I'll write more later. When will I learn.

the little munch

So perhaps Aidan's knowledge base is expanding at a more rapid rate than we know...

The other day, we were playing with his Leap book. He was touching the little pen to different parts and it was making the noises. There was this Saturn-looking thing but with rainbow colors, and I was wondering what kind of sound it would make.

I said, "Touch that rainbowy circle." He looked at me and said, "That's a planet." The "dumbass" was added silently, in his head.

looking, looking

I have been doing a lot of thinking about the current living situation. Tony is applying to grad school in P-town, to get his MA in English. He claims he's going to get it done in two years, but I'm thinking it'll be more like three. And I've been thinking about my job, how much better it is than many jobs I've had. I'm not sure how much job security an instructor in my position has, particularly if they start hiring more PhDs for the program, but I think I'm okay for a while.

We've never ruled out another move somewhere, but nothing now... The boys are so good at Carol's, and unless things get way worse, I don't think I could do better than my job if we were to move; and at least if I ended up having to get another job here, I'm pretty sure I could get another teaching job.

But Tony and I have decided something. I talked to Tony about it last week. I think we are going to see if it would be possible to sell our house and buy another one in P-town West. PW is the newer, nicer area around us. It's within like a half hour drive from anywhere in P-town proper, but it's like a different city. It's in the rural school district. And you know how when you go to a nice area, the regular chain stores are fancier than the ones in the crappier areas? That's how P. West is -- all nice. There is more land because it's less city. They still have places to eat and an up and coming big library and parks and doctor's offices and stuff, so it would be essentially comparable convenience-wise. And the houses are much newer.

I just mentioned it to Tony to see if he thought it was ridiculous, and he was like, Let's do it. So I left a message for a realtor today. I know the market is allegedly weird, although I am incredibly distrusting of anything the media says about it. I just told him, if we know for a fact we're not leaving till you finish your degree, why not spend those years in a newer, nicer house in a new area, one that may make us want to stay longer? New area, new people, new air, possibly new start for the move. We don't need a house as big as the one we've got now -- I only bought one this big because I was operating under the assumption that we'd have frequent overnight guests, which does not happen. So five bedrooms and two living rooms is not necessary.

Anyway, perhaps I am insane. I guess we'll see. I just think maybe a new place would breathe some life into me. It seems like we do all this stuff to our house and it's still no better looking really or more comfortable. We've sunk thousands of dollars into it and I still walk around thinking, I hate this. I wish I could change that.

beware of bad luck, little right-wingers

So after some research and watching the debates so far, Tony and I have decided that we're pretty sure we're going to vote for McCain. Really, for me, it's like the lesser of two evils. I don't care for either candidate. I like McCain better than Obama and Biden better than Palin, as far as who I think is the most capable.

I have a few "pet" issues. One is of course same-sex marriage, as I am sure most of you know. Neither of them is for legalizing it, so that doesn't differentiate the candidates. The other is education, and frankly, nothing either one of them can do is going to make things worse.

When it comes down to it, I guess I'm liberal when it comes to social issues and conservative when it comes to the more logistical things, like spending and government involvement. I think that the social rights things are inevitable; they can only hold it off for so long, just like they could only hold off interracial marriage for so long. Since those, I think, will happen anyway, I am voting for the person who's talking cutting spending and who seems a little more realistic militarily. I think it's total BS that we got into the Iraq situation, but I think it's ridiculous to think you can easily just say, "We're out" without major consequences.

I told Candace, I have these two images of the two candidates in my head. Like two cartoons of them. Obama I see as sitting at a table not unlike the final scene in Spies Like Us, playing Risk, drinking a milkshake, and looking to Biden for constant clues. McCain I see in a helicopter with the door open, laughing maniacally and throwing hand grenades on the homes of mean world leaders. Neither one of these appeals to me, but I guess the hand grenades keep me and my boys safer than the milkshake.

Of course, NOT ONE president has ever been elected that I've ever voted for. And only one governor (ours, here) has ever been elected that I voted for. Which means, sad little Republicans, that I totally don't think McCain will win. I guess we'll see. Maybe you'll get good luck and something will change my mind before the election.

hi, i'm peer. peer pressure.

Well, I took Aidan this weekend to buy some new shoes. Since it's starting to cool off, I have to get him on board with some shoes that aren't his Diego sandals. He sort of has a shoe obsession, which is weird, so you have to work with him on it. Like, when he meets new people or sees someone he hasn't seen in a while, 85% of the time the first thing he says is "See my shoes?" or "Got my shoes!" Sometimes, "Got my socks!" Once he gets obsessed with method of dressing his feet, it is a pain to make him switch. So, he wears socks with sandals for the first month of summer (the sandals are enough of a switch). Then when you get him out of the socks, he never wants to wear them again.

So we hit PayLess. I pulled all the tennis shoes off of the rack in his size as early as possible, to keep him from asking for the pink Dora tennis shoes. I'm a pretty open-minded person when it comes to his having a pink cup with flowers, a pink and yellow Dora blanket, wanting to wear my bra around the house... but I just can't bring myself to allow him to have flowery pink Dora tennis shoes. There are a few really cute pairs that look like shoes I'd wear. And there are the requisite character shoes (Cars/Lightning McQueen and Iron Man). I figure he'll pick one of these and am silently cheering for Iron Man, because, really, it's cooler. Of course, he immediately picks the Cars ones and won't try on any others for the rest of the time we are there.

So I sadly think, so much for the days when I used to keep him dressed pretty cute... at least I still get to pick out his clothes. And then this morning when we are getting dressed, he doesn't want to put on his shoes. Why? Because, and I quote: "I WANT SKECHERS. LIKE MARK!" Yes, Skechers. He is asking for name brands. Like the rich annoying kid at daycare who has older siblings. And I am thinking, "You don't need name brand shoes, kid! Name brands don't matter." But in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, "Skechers are so nineties."

my new favorite lyrics

So it's not my new favorite song, per se, but I am loving these lyrics. I think I would have really loved them when I was younger. It's just a cool idea for a song.

Scar (by Missy Higgins)

He left a card, a bar of soap and a scrubbing brush next to a note
that said, "Use these down to your bones."
And before I knew I had shiny skin and it felt easy being clean like him,
I thought, "This one knows better than I do."

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle -
He tried to cut me so I'd fit.

And doesn't that sound familiar?
Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver,
the way things could've gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar
that everyone wants a little more?
So that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

So the next one came with a bag of treats,
She smelled like sugar and spoke like the sea
She told me, "Don't trust them, trust me."
Then she pulled at my stitches one by one,
Looked at my insides, clicking her tongue,
And said "This will all have to come undone."

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle -
She tried to blunt me so I'd fit.

And doesn't that sound familiar?
Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver,
the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar,
that everyone wants a little more?
So that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

I think I realised just in time, about my old self was hard to find.
You can bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine.
'Cos I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys,
Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same?

And doesn't that sound familiar?
Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver,
the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar
that everyone wants a little more?

So that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?

ANTM October 1

Okay, is it just me, or are you ready to kill Paulina? Janice was the judge everyone loved to hate, and frankly, I loved her. But I also love Simon on American Idol. Twiggy was okay, particularly once they introduced Miss J into the mix... he's the new critique person, and Twiggy's accent made me laugh at her comments. Really, I could laugh myself silly when Miss J says "What erszh it? Exquerszhite." Paulina is the worst development to the show since the expanded the season premiere debut budget.

Between chasing Aidan into the bathtub and getting him set up with Shrek the Third, I missed some of the beginning, but unfortunately, I did not miss the part where Paulina comes out pretending to be all frumpy in an ill-fitting skirt/suit. Whatever, jerk. You're six feet tall and wear a size two. I am not even someone who struggles with my size, and that ticks me off, so I can only imagine. That whole challenge was ridiculous. Because God knows, if you go to a catalog shoot, you'll be subjected to altering your own outfit using Bud Light cans and crazy straws. If I were a catalog publisher, I'd be so ticked. And knowing what has happened with the careers of the ANTM girls in the past, they shouldn't be burning the catalog bridge.

Then we segue into the annoying life of Marjorie. (I just learned from Tim Gunn how to spell segue via a Project Runway subtitle! I always thought it was segway like the machine!) I'm not going to waste my time on this, but, um, Marjorie? Having parents who were born and raised in Europe doesn't make you retarded; it just makes you European. I've spent a little time in France, and the populace there is not retarded. Like you.

The photo shoot was sort of stupid, as usual. Not more stupid than last week's "your whole face underwater" shoot, but also not as cool as the hot air balloon shoot. The retro clothes and hairdos were supercute, but I hate the natural disaster motif. God knows what they were shooting for with that. They raved over a few that I thought sucked (like Samantha). They praised old needlenose McKey despite the fact that her face looks like she's been smashed in the pages of a book. And they were only mediocre with Analeigh and Lauren Brie, who are my new favorites. They are the cutest ones. And Paulina had the nerve to call Analeigh "not photogenic". Whatever, Paulina. Have you seen your husband lately? I wouldn't be calling anyone non-photogenic.

So in the end, they boot Clark, vise-face girl that despite the vise-face, I sort of liked. Oh well. I guess you get what you pay for, because apparently she had a nose job before going on the show. Here are her before and after rhinoplasty shots.

BEFORE

AFTER