good times in the ER

So I don’t know about you, but I’ve only been to the ER twice for myself in my entire life. Once, in high school, this muscle I had separated from my ribs in my rib cage, and I went thinking I’d broken a rib. And got some pretty groovy muscle relaxers... The other time was when we got in that massive head-on collision in Gonzales when I was seven months pregnant with Aidan, and I went for obvious checkup reasons. And I’ve taken Aidan twice: once for a monster sinus infection, and once for an explosive diarrhea episode.

Today, I made trip for Liam numero uno. He’s been hacking like a beast for a day or two. I talked to his pediatrician on Thursday--well, to the nurse, three times. Apparently, hacking one’s lungs up and wheezing and gasping for air are not enough for them to give me an appointment for a five month old. They said they couldn’t do anything for him unless he had a fever. We’ve been humidifying like crazy in his room, to no avail. I even took off of work (which I never do) on Friday.

So last night and this morning he was hacking like a beast who’d just smoked a bowl, so after we tried several things and nothing helped, I just took him to the ER.

One of the annoying things about going to the ER is that the other people there rarely have emergency-status issues, and you have to wait for them to go first, since it’s first come first served. The girl who went before me, with her mom, had a dry dish rag draped over her forearm. They spent the entire time in the waiting room giggling and eating, like they only went to the ER to get Hostess cupcakes and Cheetos out of the machine. When the nurse came out, she made a comment about "You guys just like to drive to the ER", so you know they go all the time and really didn’t need anything.

Anyway, they finally call us back. I have to wait forever. Liam’s finally sleeping and I’m dying of starvation. By the time we actually get to see a medical professional, I am thinking perhaps if I jet now I won’t have to pay the bill, since Liam seems to be comfortably snoozing. I press on anyway.

They do an oxygen check; all is well. They listen to his chest and take his temp, a little fever, but no big deal. They assume we’ll just get him a breathing treatment to break up phlegm, but decide to do an x-ray just in case. Has anyone ever seen a baby x-ray being done? It’s a crazy thing. They sat him in this hole on the top of this table, and then wrapped this plexiglas tube around him, so he’s basically standing up with his arms straight up over his head and held perfectly straight. He screamed the whole time. Check out this pic:

http://opraxmedical.com/Accessories/PatAsst/Restraints/PIGG-O-STAT_1.jpg

The diagnosis? Pneumonia. He’s got pneumonia. Thanks, pediatrician, for refusing to nip this in the bud. Jerk.