house selling rant. hopefully the last one.

Okay, so we have moved totally into the house. Everything is here, although not yet put away; we have our check from the remaining money; all the papers are signed.

When we were moving, we left this couch in the downstairs living room. God knows how we even got it down there in the first place, but we've never been able to move it out. They tried and couldn't do it, so we just left it there. Frankly, the jerks who bought the house have been difficult asses the entire process. They came up suddenly and wanted to give us THREE WEEKS to find a house and move out of our old house. We thought maybe they were coming in from out of state (which is total BS anyway, because who waits till three weeks before moving to find a house to purchase?), but NO. They are from here. And I've never heard of an apt or house lease that ended on the 8^th of a month, so it was just a matter of being jerks that made them have us out so fast.

So we fly around, find a house, get all our paperwork, inspections, appraisals, loan stuff, everything done. THE WEEK we are supposed to move out, they still haven't had their bank appraiser come to our house, and so three days before we are supposed to be moving out, their appraiser comes and we find out we have to extend our gutters and take bars off the downstairs living room windows. So we fly around doing that so the sale can go through. Yeah, you need us out hurriedly by the 8^th, but you are too dumb to even have your crap together by the 3^rd. We had less time, and all our stuff was done, including actually finding a house.

We go to the closing, and they show up to do their paper signing in another room. The couple is about, no exaggeration, AT LEAST 80 years old. And not a spry 80. A decrepit, we-can-barely-walk 80. And the lady is walking with a freaking cane. Yeah, because you need a five bedroom house. Those bastards are not even making it down the stairs. I can't even make it down without falling, and I don't have a cane or a hunch back. We go to meet them to be friendly, and the jerks don't even make eye contact with us. They stare into space in front of them while they pretend to make small talk, which you know I hate. I am being nice with the small talk, and you're being a jerk, which makes me want to shout expletives even more than I already want to with the banter.

All this past week, we've toted carloads of crap from old house to new to be ready to move on Saturday, since we HAVE to be out by the 8^th. Saturday, Tony, his dad, and two friends work like Egyptian slaves behind a whip loading a moving truck and driving back and forth, and we make more numberless trips between houses. By Saturday night, we've got everything out except for the couch, which we just left. Admittedly, they might not want the couch, but on a massive time constraint and without wanting to destroy their stairway, we just left it. I'm saying, they can't even make it down the stairs, and frankly, free couch. In a room they'll never see.

I went by this morning to leave the second key and to leave a note saying that we'd left the couch for their discretion because with the time constraints, we didn't have time to get the couch out without messing up the walls. Oh, in their BIG EFFING RUSH to move into the house, no one is there. Nine am, and nary a truck or box to be seen.

So we get a call from our realtor, who, frankly, I am done with. He's annoyed the crap out of me for six months. The deal is done, papers signed, commission paid, now get out of my life. Apparently, they are all up in arms about the couch. Tony tells our realtor that he will go over there and break the couch into pieces and carry it out to the trash. He drives all the way over there, and no one is there. He uses the garage door code, but the door inside the garage is locked. He comes all the way back home, and calls our realtor, who, jerk that he is, just gives Tony their realtor's number rather than taking care of it himself. Tony calls her to set up the meeting at the house. According to their realtor, that couch, in ONE room of the downstairs, which again, THEY CAN'T WALK DOWN ANYWAY, is apparently holding up their entire move. Yeah, because you can't move furniture in the upstairs or bring boxes or clothes or anything in, because the couch downstairs is preventing the entire move.

All I can say is, they better be glad Tony is going and not me. The stupid old man is meeting him there, and if it were me, I don't think I'd be able to get through it without rudely saying something about our having to be out so fast and their jerkiness when clearly they aren't in any rush to get into the house.

Yet another reason for me to hate HATE HATE the general public. And a little statement that I should never be a realtor, because I am reminded that home buyers are jackasses and idiots just like the general public.