friendship maintenance

So today is Shannon's birthday. For those of you who don't know, Shannon was a really good friend of mine in middle/high school and some after. She was probably the friend with whom I spent the most time in high school. When we graduated, she went to one school and I went to another, and we kept hanging out for a while, but then a variety of annoying and stupid things happened, not the least of which was at least one of us going insane, not that I'm naming names :), and the friendship ended, probably around 1996 or 1997. God, that's been over ten years ago now, which is unbelievable.

Anyway, that got me thinking about friendship maintenance. Unless there's a situation where someone goes insane, and it does happen, as we all know, the most likely reason that friendships end is that people don't put forth any effort at maintaining them. I can't say I'm great at this, because frankly, I detest talking on the phone so much that if someone isn't willing to stay in contact via the internet, or even written letters/postcards, chances are I'm not in touch with them.

A lot of people think that common interests, lifestyles, locations need to exist for staying friends, and I hear a lot about people who say they can't stay friends with anyone because those things aren't there.

I'll just tell you this - with Jenny as my example. Jenny and I have many differences. We differ greatly on political views, we don't really listen to the same kind of music, most of the books we read aren't the same. Our life experiences have differed. We've dated/married guys that the other person didn't like. We've had at least one massive falling out. We've pissed each other off more than once. And until we were both married to our current spouses, I'd say our lifestyles differed greatly - since I was single when she wasn't and then she was single when I wasn't and I had kids before her. And needless to say, we don't live close to one another. I'm saying, even if you look at the way we look/dress/fix our hair, you'd probably not pair us up.

The difference is that we both put effort into staying in contact. There are people that I am ambivalent about that I was once good friends with because while I attempted to maintain contact, they did things that made it clear that maintaining a friendship with me wasn't a priority even to send an email or something. And there are people that I literally haven't seen in years that I still consider some of my really good friends, like people from school who are all over the place. And here's my salute to you, people who keep in contact with me! I really appreciate your continued friendship maintenance effort! Since blog readers and hotmail are most of my social life, you are irreplaceable!

On an unrelated topic, do clothes shrink in length as they hang in a closet unworn? Why are all my clothes from pre-Liam too short, but still fit otherwise? I guess maybe I'm wider - but then wouldn't they be really tight? Maybe it's my chest. Anyway, I have to hit Old Navy today because I tried on six shirts this morning and none hid my stomach when I lifted my arms.