feeling nostalgic

and thought I'd post a few old poems I wrote back in the day...

Instrumental
jme 1997

And I look up at you
You're there but not really
Feels like I'm on another plane
Never knew you could be this way
Didn't know this was all I had to do
And though I could always find the words
And I could never write the music
What mattered to me was the completeness
Perfection all around
And I'd been looking with a penlight
At the insignificance that danced around
And I'd thought the dance was consequential
Found out it wasn't
Not important, a cruel joke
And it had kept me sidetracked
And distracted from what could really be
And though what mattered was to be whole
I'd always been told that I wasn't
And what I find in others is that they are
But you show me I am
I've been on my knees for years
Looking for the missing pieces
And you pulled me to my feet
With the option of standing forever
And I'm not accustomed to that
But though I find your music in
Perfect complement with my verse
Surely you find my words lacking
And you just wanted to be instrumental
I'm here but not really

Leave tonight
"leave tonight or live and die this way" - tracy chapman
jme 2000

If I left today
With the choice of leaving or dying
Would you want me
Would you ask me to come
And tell me it will all work out
And show me that there is a life
Beyond what I have known
I don't feel at home here anymore
I don't know if I ever did
And a plane ride may be just what I need
You did make me feel like I was
On another plane
I've been here so long
I feel that to leave one is to leave all
And I don't know if I can do it alone
But then I've been doing it alone all this time
And maybe I don't want to do it alone anymore
Maybe I want you, and you are the reason
Maybe with you this weight will leave my chest
Maybe I'll finally be able to breathe free
Like breathing near the ocean
Like knowing who I am
Like turning back the clock
Choosing life
Choosing me