thanks for your thoughts, captain perfection!

You know, I get so tired of people being so judgmental about everything I say about having kids. Particularly people who (a) have no kids and (b) have not seen me in like a decade or ever met my kids.

Perhaps I am alone in the impression that having kids is not a 24-hour-a-day experience of magic and delight, a theme park life full of cotton candy and rainbows. My boys are awesome. They are hilarious and (I would be willing to bet cash) probably smarter than most kids their age that you know. They definitely make me laugh and they are affectionate and imaginative and cool. HOWEVER, I don't care how fantastic a kid is; you cannot be around any kid every moment of every day of your life and not have him or her get on your nerves occasionally.

I have tried to be non-judgmental about anyone's life with children. Want to move to a commune and co-sleep and eat only organically grown vegetables and use only clothing fabricated from alpaca fiber? Fantastic! Want to live in a 24^th floor apartment in the middle of New York City and send your kid to a gazillion-dollar-a-year preschool? Have fun! Stay-at-home mom? Congratulations! Working mom? Great! With that in mind, I have never quite understood why people are so flipping quick to judge me when I say something about having kids.

Perhaps I'm the only mother on the planet who enjoys time to herself, whose patience runs thin on a daily basis, who gets tired of planning meals and breaking up fights. I don't think that's the case, but perhaps I am. I guess unless you're perfect, in these people's minds, you shouldn't have kids. Well, thanks for your input, Dr. Laura. Did you spend all your time at home growing up with your parent, who smiled and giggled and spent all his/her time doing crafts and cooking nutritious meals and played creative games all the time? That's not true of my childhood, and I think it didn't destroy me. My mom stayed at home sometimes, worked sometimes, did equal amounts of laughing and yelling, and lost her patience with us on a regular basis. It's only natural. If you spend a great portion of your time with two or more children, it's going to happen.

I guess the main thing that annoys me is that I believe, I know, that everyone has the same feelings I do, maybe not as often, maybe in a different way, but every mom I know would love a vacation from her life (even if she spends the entire vacation missing the kids and calling home to see if they're okay). Every mom I know gets tired of her constant servitude to her offspring and wishes she could have a break for a while. Every mom I know, even the ones who stay at home and love doing it, really really enjoys a night out with friends, a break from the house, some alone time, some adult conversation, and the ability to get up, stay in pajamas, and watch TV all day with no demands from anyone but herself. We're not saints. And just because babies were produced in our bodies doesn't mean that we aren't allowed to complain or be honest about how difficult and annoying it is sometimes.

Do something mean to my kids. I'll kill you. Touch them, and if I can't get to you myself, I will hire someone who will. Talk to them inappropriately, and you'll be hearing from me. I love my boys. They're probably better people than you are, in my mind. However, I would be lying if I said that I am thrilled to have them around 24 hours a day, seven days a week, that it never drives me over the edge, that I never need to escape to keep my sanity. If you choose to lie, then go ahead. I prefer to be honest. And until you've lived in my house, with my kids, then keep your judgmental thoughts to yourself.