why, if you’re a stay-at-home mom, you’re better than me

So yesterday I was stuck at home with the two kids because their "grandma" was sick with the flu, and man, what an adventure, if an adventure is someone systematically burning all the hairs out of your body with a red hot poker and then shoving it in your eye.

For two days in a row, I didn't get more than three or four hours of sleep. Then yesterday morning, despite my exhaustion, I had a sinus headache, so I took some medicine, which I guess exacerbated the problem. I could barely keep my eyes open the entire day. And since my patience lasts about as long as my hair is at the moment, adding miserable sleepiness is not a good thing.

Liam didn't nap for more than thirty minutes, which is ridiculous, since sometimes he'll nap for two hours of the day. I couldn't get either of them to eat anything worth a crap. I got Liam to eat one slice of cheese, and they each ate a bite or two of a hot dog, but that was it. Lots of Cheerios, pretzels, etc. I tried to take Aidan outside for Liam's short nap to give him a break, and we weren't out there for ten minutes before he saw a bee and decided he wanted to go back in. I took them to the store, which is always "fun."

By about 12:00, I started thinking, maybe Tony will come home early to relieve me. No such luck. He has to take hours off his vacation to do it, but I was getting desperate. By 2:00, I was slowly losing my mind. I picked up all the toys in the living room and tried to make myself busy with Facebook quizzes while they played on the floor with one another. By 2:30, I started watching out of the window. By 2:45, I had the two boys up on the couch, all of us watching out of the window for Tony's car. When I started seeing the kids that walk home from the school pass by, I started getting angry. I called the classroom, no answer. I called his neighboring teacher's cell phone, no answer. I called his classroom again, and again, no answer. By 3:00 I was irate. And building. 3:10, no Tony. Finally, at about 3:15, I relented to letting Aidan take a bath, which I'd been trying to put off till Tony got home. I stripped them down and stuck them in the tub. When I went to throw Liam's pj's into the living room to have them ready to dress him, I saw Tony's car pulling in.

I checked on the kids until I figured he'd be walking up. When he walked in the door, my purse was on my arm, I was about to explode, and I just said, "They're in the tub" and flew out of the door to my car. I took a Xanax, and it took me a thirty minute errand-running cool down break to even get back to where I could breathe regularly and my heart would slow down. I had worked myself into a panic attack. Great. One day, someone is going to figure out that I'm a terrible mom and come and take these kids away. Thankfully, their "grandma" is much better at dealing with them than I am.